A feline soap opera?
Relationship

A feline soap opera?

Live with an animal communicator Does that mean they all get along?

There is no question that integrating cats can be very, very challenging. In my last post about Melissa’s integration, I thought I had finally turned a corner. Well, maybe that was just another corner in a complex maze.

In the wild, domestic cats naturally live in multi-generational female family groups, much like lions do. But when they’re confined indoors and when the cats aren’t related to each other, the conflict can be hard to overcome.

In our human families, we put together cats that have no biological relationship to each other. That can create great challenges, since it is not natural for them to live this way.

When Starlight arrived almost 5 years ago (so long ago? really?) and quickly integrated in about 2 months, I could hardly believe it was so easy.

Of course, there was a lot of preparation, even before she was born. Also, Starlight has a very sweet disposition. She doesn’t like to challenge anyone for anything. So naturally the existing hierarchy was never challenged and all was well.

Then came Melissa.

Melissa, by personality and possibly genetics, is a very dominant cat.

He wanted to take over the kennel where he was born.

Then, at 6 months old, I expected to tame all 3 cats in my family.

Despite all my efforts to dissuade her, Melissa knew exactly what she wanted, and she wasn’t about to back down.

She refused to listen to everything I had to say (perpetual teenager?) and still yells at me when I start to say something she doesn’t want to hear.

Sometimes I have the image of a child throwing tantrums, screaming and putting their paws (fingers) to their ears.

Since her first day here, Melissa never showed the slightest subservience to the main cat, Sakhara, and never intended anything more than to rule the house.

I have explained that there are various ways to express dominance, and that violence is not always the best way. But of course, with “paws in the ears” Melissa has not listened to me and completely rejects my requests.

Melissa is now over 2 years old.

Melissa is now the dominant cat.

His relationships with Violet and Starlight are generally well balanced and respectful most of the time.

However, with Sakhara, the conflict continues unabated.

Sakhara refuses to officially resign from her position.

Melissa continues to hit Sakhara at least once a day and tries hard to do it. Even if Sakhara is sitting on my lap and minding her own business, Melissa will attack. I can see in Melissa’s eyes and body language when she’s preparing to attack.

Nothing I’ve done to try to stop this has made any difference except for the timing. If I hiss at Melissa or admonish her, she backs off and then just waits until I’m not looking.

Due to Sakhara’s age and general health (around 21 years old), I still have interference. To me, Sakhara deserves some deference, as she has always been kind, caring, and considerate of others.

Sakhara has chosen to sleep alone in a room with the door closed. This way, she doesn’t have to walk past Melissa to get to a litter box after she’s gone to bed. I’m fine with this, but when I open her door in the morning, Melissa walks past me at lightning speeds.

In my efforts to work things out between these two, I discovered a past life where Melissa and Sakhara had a terrible conflict that resulted in horrible torture and death for Melissa. Melissa doesn’t forgive and Sakhara doesn’t even forgive herself.

So the karma continues.

While I have not completely given up on my efforts to help each of these beautiful beings find inner peace, there is a powerful lesson for me in all of this. While meditating one day, I was told to use this affirmation:

“I accept the Perfection of God in everything.

I stopped having to fix everything.”

Truly a powerful lesson. It’s not up to me to figure this out. It depends on them.

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