Captain Obvious goes on a diet
I wonder if my dog Willie gets bored of walking the same route every day. My inclination is not to, but what do I know? He may get as tired of urinating in the same bushes as me as he is walking on the same sidewalks. Anyway, the bottom line is that I take it for a long walk every morning and to be honest I can sometimes find it boring. The solution? I plug in my headphones, which always fall off, and listen to the radio.
That backstory in itself goes a long way in explaining how I came to hear an ad for another “miracle weight loss product.”
I’ve been writing these regular posts for over a decade and if you’ve followed them for more than, oh, about three weeks, you know that “miracle weight loss products” are one of my top bugaboos, making me very curmudgeon and my head to explode. This was no exception; Especially since the first words of the ad, even before you knew what was being promoted, were:
“A healthy diet and exercise plan should be part of any weight reduction routine.”
Hello there? Seriously? I never realized that!
I mean, I figured the way to get to a proper weight was to ingest all kinds of herbs and secret potions that the weight loss industry didn’t want me to know about, along with cementing my fossilized butt on the couch all day. , while chewing high fructose foods not found in nature and choking them down by swallowing buckets of chocolate syrup while enjoying “the pounds that are falling.”
Sorry. Excuse the sarcasm.
It’s just that, sadly, we are in such a rush to “lose weight quickly without changing any habits” that too many wrong people sacrifice their health to achieve an unrealistic standard that cannot be met, let alone maintain. To meet the market demand, all kinds of unscrupulous manufacturers take advantage of these people with ineffective and even unsafe products. Knowing what they are providing is mostly false and could result in lawsuits; they add ridiculous and obvious disclaimers where none would otherwise be necessary. Think about it. Are there other products that require these obvious conditions to be described front and center?
Imagine automakers beginning their ads with “Keeping your eyes open while driving and not releasing the brakes before starting the engine is essential to a safe transportation experience.” Or for appliances, “It is highly recommended to refrain from placing your hand over an open flame when frying or grilling foods.” One more: “Supporting branches on the rotating blade of a running mower could impede its ability to cut grass to expected standards.”
This problem is so prevalent that the Federal Trade Commission produced a report titled “Bowel Check” to help detect false weight loss claims, some of which include:
- Weight loss of two pounds or more a week for a month or more without diet or exercise;
- Losing more than three pounds per week under any circumstances for more than four weeks;
- Substantial weight loss no matter what or how much you eat;
- Permanent weight loss even after stopping the product;
- Block the absorption of fat or calories;
- Substantial weight loss for all users; gold
- Using a product on the body or rubbing a cream on the skin to cause weight loss.
There is no quick fix. There is no magic potion. There are no special foods that should be eaten or others that should be avoided. Supplements will not make you lose weight. Creams will not melt pounds. I wish it wasn’t, but it is.
The solution is obvious – and fortunately it is simple and free: habits must change. Eat smaller portions and healthier foods; find time to be active in any way possible, and be patient while nature does what it does.