Closing Your Marriage in the Face of Undervalued Stocks and Unemployment
Relationship

Closing Your Marriage in the Face of Undervalued Stocks and Unemployment

This is interesting because it’s almost like eating an entire pizza and then downing a pint of ice cream, you feel unattractive. Money is an incredibly powerful tool! Yes, I know I hate that too… but it’s a reality and today we feel it more than ever.

However, what tends to suffer first are our relationships. We all know the statistics about money and marriage, what’s interesting is that simply adding more money to the pot isn’t the only way (or the best way) to get through these tough times.

I feel compelled to quote an article that was written on Associated Content

“Middle- and upper-income married couples can fight over spending levels, who makes more or less money, the authority to spend the money, and whether each partner is doing their part. Women in today’s society run less financial risk than ever before. As a result, many women expect men to help with traditional household chores. Since many men still believe this is women’s work, equal partnership with both partners generating an income can create problems that are created essentially for money.”

This to me is a really interesting phenomenon because, as women business owners, we are contributing at every possible level within our households, regardless of the monetary amount. However, the men don’t seem to want to participate in any of the extra housework that needs to be done, at least not around here. This usually starts the conversation about nagging, which leads to full blown resentment, frustration, and… no SEX.

What secrets do I have to keep my marriage alive and hot, even with two kids and a husband who works 10-hour days away from home? (well that’s one of my secrets :0)

1) Hire a housekeeper to do your laundry Hire a housekeeper to do your laundry for you (unless you’re one of those rare women who enjoy doing laundry and feel calm and peaceful while folding your socks). For me, this was a revolutionary moment in my home! My constant nagging was reduced (somewhat), my resentment for cleaning the floors only to have my 2-year-old throw rice and tomato sauce on the floor two hours later lightened (because at least I now shared the resentment with our housekeeper , just kidding ) and I had MORE time to do the things I wanted to do (which is usually making money in my business) sexy, right? Who’s hot and bothered about folding laundry and picking up chewed-up bits of food? I don’t drink

2) Do a serious self-assessment. I know this can be scary, and as women, we tend to automatically beat ourselves up. So I’m not talking about self-criticism. I’m talking about a serious meeting with who you are on the inside, what you look like on the outside, and HOW you present yourself to the world. Are you aligned with WHO you want to be?

3) Buy some lingerie now! I know that those of you who are familiar with my thoughts on this subject may be tired of hearing it. I don’t mind! If you can’t dig through your lingerie drawer right now and get excited about a special pair of pretty panties, then you need a review.

4) Kiss your husband when he leaves in the morning and when he walks in the door at night! Kiss him like you used to kiss prior to sex was a viable option. Yes, I know you are tired, the children are running around, you have to prepare dinner and… DO IT! It changes everything. We are so caught up in everything around us every minute of every day. When her spouse walks in, remind yourself why she is married to him. A quick tip (try to imagine him feeling all the passion you have for him at that very moment, it works wonders) It can also set the stage for an afternoon quickie! If your spouse works nearby, I highly recommend this, especially since the same old routine of lying between the sheets is the LAST thing we want to resort to after a day of screaming kids, traffic, bills, and brainstorming sessions.

5) ASK FOR HELP…this is difficult for all of us. My husband loves to get involved in my business, he researches, proofreads, emails, makes phone calls… but it’s funny that he’s not the first one up and doing the dishes when I need to get back to the office. So when it says can I do something, I say YES, “empty the dishwasher and pack the kids’ lunches,” then we have a million questions about what I should put in the kids’ lunches, but that’s another topic.

6) Pay yourself! OK, I may get a lot of flak about this, but I really believe it. I grew up in a home where my parents shared everything, everything. My mom never went anywhere without my dad and vice versa, well she worked for them for over 30% 2B of years so more power to them but to me… I NEED some independence! I like to have a little stash of money that is mine, mine, all mine. I don’t have to explain it, answer questions about it, or justify what I’m using it for ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love it, it keeps me sane and sexy.

7) Get in touch with other women. Get in touch with other women. Build a community of positive women that you can connect with and be real…there’s enough competition out there! If you can form an all-female Mastermind group, I would recommend it. Yes, you heard me. There is nothing sexier than challenging yourself to grow outside of your comfort zone. If you feel like you’re in a complacent state, then I bet your spouse can too! Fear can be a confidence booster, hang on and walk through it. wearing lace panties of course!

8) Get scared!

9) Have a date night box set up. Have a date night box set up. Make a chart and write down the dates you’d like to do but haven’t yet (if you want, you can set a price cap on the date so things don’t get too extravagant) Each of you should secretly add to the chart date and once a week draw a piece of paper, you HAVE to do what it says on date night. Some of our favorites are trying new restaurants, picnicking in the park, country line dancing, wine tasting, strip clubs (that’s Dave’s), well, you get the idea.

10) Do something that makes you happy EVERY DAY, something that is just for you. Do something that makes you happy EVERY DAY, something that is just for you. Now this can take a bit of exploring because we tend to forget who we are and what we want when we’re running around taking care of others. We need to stop the martyr syndrome and start taking ownership. What is one thing you could do that would make you smile? I buy myself yellow tulips and go for long walks and cups of tea, sit in the sun and close my eyes listening to the birds and my children. Write down 5 things that make you smile right now. Come on DO IT it will only take you a second, if you can’t think of any, you have a problem and we should talk.

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