Groom 101 – What Every Prospective Groom Needs To Know About Planning A Wedding
Are you about to POP the question? Let me be of service!
I’m here to save you from yourself… oh, you’re cute and all, even with that hole in your knee from bending over and tendinitis from practicing the art of opening that precious ring box you’ve hidden in your underwear drawer. (because that’s the only place you know us girls will never dare to venture to…). You’ve seen the Robins Brothers commercials with her sitting next to you, aching with emotion because you knew something she didn’t…finally…
You are counting down the days, your palms sweating at the thought that this, this one moment that is all yours, is about to become a reality. The bride dreams of the wedding day, the groom dreams of the day he paid for the ring, OH and holds his beloved in her arms… forever.
This Valentine’s Day I’d like to be the cricket on your shoulder and give you a little sneak peek, some tools to work with once you’ve announced to the world that you’re going to be husband and wife. And that at least for a while, you actually knew something that she didn’t…
What the hell does a photographer know about planning a wedding? I mean, all we do is show up and shoot, right?
In reality, he is the photographer who is essentially the mole at every wedding. It is the photographer who is there from start to finish, he has seen what works and what doesn’t, and we notice when things work smoothly, or not, and why!
First of all, if you do nothing else in your wedding planning, reframe your mind, your thinking, your entire DNA and reset… you are now a bride and groom.
The first thing you need to do is plan TWO budgets. Create a low-budget wedding that will take you to heaven with one quick pass. Then plan a high-end gluttony budget, which will result in a temporary stay in Purgatory. Why two budgets? Because this will allow you to really clarify what means the most to you and what you can do without! Think about it! When you have to sit down and think about what is MOST essential to your day, your priorities are set and you have that baseline to refer to when it starts to spiral out of control and the local psyche room needs to be summoned with your wedding ceremony. straitjacket.
1. Once you’ve determined what’s most important to you, establish those providers EARLY. Did you know that most photographers book about six months in advance?
2. Saturday is not always the best day to get married… Consider a Friday night or a Sunday! The most popular day to book is Saturday so the demand is there and providers are sometimes overbooked on those dates and locations are at their peak. Also, really think about an off-season wedding! You’d be surprised at the extra-charming tone you’d get on the other end of the line from vendors if you approached them with a wedding in January, February, or early March. This is a slow time for the industry and everyone is done with the holidays. This is a great time to look for deals from even the most elite providers; 0)
3. Don’t be afraid to look at providers that your other providers recommend. First of all, if they recommend someone, there is usually a reason. The sellers I recommend, I have seen them in action, I love not only their work, but also their personalities!!!! Remember, like I said, vendors are people too, and your vendors’ personalities will help dictate the personality and vibe of your entire day! You may have found a florist with gorgeous flowers, but what if they don’t work well with others, what if there are certain restrictions with the church or reception area and they get cranky and annoy the planner/coordinator and then the florist doesn’t care as much as before so their flowers show up an hour late and the photographer isn’t scheduled and the portraits are late so the mother of the bride is in a bad mood resulting in a discussion that the priest listens to. …..Well, you get the idea…
4. On items that mean a lot to both of you, make sure both the bride and groom meet with any and all essential vendors. I was pleasantly surprised that my manly future husband actually cared what flowers we used! They end up learning a lot about each other and realize that the decision making they are enduring and sharing together in planning a wedding is a wonderful opportunity for how they will make other decisions in the future. This is a moment, which will be the barometer for future negotiations. Do not fear this experience, embrace it and understand that this event is a gift to yourselves as a couple that you embrace for the rest of your lives.
5. Remember that a great The wedding is not always going to be the most memorable. Well, to rephrase…you may remember the debt…but please, from the bottom of my digitally archived heart, know that your guests really don’t care if they don’t go home with a silver shot. Tiffany’s glass. (well, okay, I’ve secretly longed for such a treasure, but we’ll keep it to ourselves…)
6. Your friends love you, that’s why they’re there! Okay, you might have some dysfunctional social climbers and family members too, but in the end this is a party for you and your loved ones. Final period of history. Do not forget this when planning your wedding. Select flowers that make you FEEL beautiful, that will brighten the hearts of your loved ones. Don’t go picking bouquets to impress. If you pick items for your day because they feel right to you, everything will fall into place. This may seem whimsical, but I’ve seen it time and time again.
7. Don’t be afraid to hire a wedding coordinator for Labor Day services! Many coordinators offer this service at minimal cost in the larger scheme of things! It is a GIFT to you and your family, especially your mothers, to have that one point of contact for all providers, who makes sure your day runs smoothly. They do it all that day…and they’re your best friend so your maid of honor and best man can do their job of serving only you, not trying to reach the guy in the white clothes because the tables aren’t set yet. . !
8. If you are getting married outdoors, if there is even a 10% chance of rain, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE BACKUP TENT ARRANGEMENTS! Make sure the site or your planner has this blocked. I photographed one of the most beautiful weddings in Malibu where it rained completely and the entire table was soaked, the favors were ruined and the entire reception had to be reset during the ceremony…
9. Think of your wedding as your baby that is growing and rotting inside. It’s your belly, nobody else’s, and you have the right to tell anyone not to touch it. Your wedding is your personal space, you have to respect it. Yes, if your parents are paying for some or all of it, the most loving thing to do is to ask them about their suggestions, but in the end it’s up to you how you will remember your day.
10. Above all, remember NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, LIFE IS ABOUT STORIES! Not every wedding is going to be perfect, there will probably be little things here and there that can go wrong, but at the end of the day there are only three people who need to show up: the two of you, the minister, and well. ….let’s do it four (your photographer…;0).