How to Minimize Self-Imposed Isolation in Claims and Losses
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How to Minimize Self-Imposed Isolation in Claims and Losses

You can reduce unnecessary suffering during grief by limiting the time you self-isolate, either knowingly or unknowingly. Self-imposed isolation is a common response to the death of a loved one. Although time alone is necessary throughout grievance work, mourners too often withdraw and cause additional pain and suffering.

To begin with, grief itself is an isolating emotion because depression, guilt, and anger, common reactions to the loss of a loved one, tend to reduce interaction with others, and many would-be supporters don’t know how to respond . . Isolation complicates and lengthens the healing process.

Whether you’re grieving the death of a loved one or providing support to a grieving person, here are eight ways to move forward from the devastating toll isolation has on emotional disposition and energy levels.

1. Find a Complaining Partner. Find someone who has suffered a similar loss. It could be another widow or widower. Perhaps another mother who has lost a child or a person who has suffered the death of a sibling. It can be especially helpful if the person is a few months ahead of you in the complaint process. Share your feelings. Having someone around you with similar feelings ensures that they understand you better. Make a pact to call each other on the phone at specific times, day or night.

2. Make the expression of emotions a priority. Repressing emotions is a sure way to increase the intensity of pain and cause depression. Suppressed anger is especially harmful to health and can be controlled. The first step is to own it and tell a confidant. We are built to allow emotions to flow through us and express themselves to relieve the anxiety and physical tension they cause. If you have negative feelings, bring them out into the light of day with your friend.

3. Use daily meditation for twenty minutes. There are numerous forms of meditation. Choose one that you feel comfortable with. It will increase awareness of your surroundings, help you transcend your pain and strengthen your inner life. A common meditation is simply to choose a pleasant word (peace, love, tranquility, etc.) and repeat it slowly each time you exhale.

4. Start your own altruistic program. A universal way to cope with great loss and change is to become a wounded healer and help others while you are still grieving. There are people everywhere who can use the help of another. Search your community or search for organizations that need volunteers. Your participation will force you to communicate. It will lift your spirits and improve your self-esteem, and make the world a better place.

5. Join a complaint support group. This is an ideal way to reduce isolation by being with others who are dealing with loss. In all of my experience with bereavement support groups, as the meetings progress, strong friendships are formed and much insight is gained from each other.

6. Use massage. A major loss often brings with it a feeling of being alone. I have heard many grieving people tell me how comforting it was to have a professional massage. The relaxation that was induced and the awareness of feeling comfortable was a welcome break from the pain of loss.

7. Strengthen your ties with your Higher Power. There is a growing amount of research pointing to the health benefits of spiritual/religious participation. Believe that you are never alone and that your Higher Power knows what you are going through and is there for you to talk to. Say what’s going on inside you. This connection is a powerful force to help you get through the toughest times.

8. Grow in your capacity to love. The eternal connection of love with your Higher Power and the deceased is part of the path through isolation and loneliness. You can still show love to the deceased by learning to love in separation and by living the values ​​you acquired through your association with him/her.

All strong connections are based on the power of love. Your mission in life, something we all need, will be enhanced by your ability to grow in love. As he grows older, his pain and isolation will fade, and he will see life and death through a lens he never thought could be so beautiful.

Reducing isolation when we are hurt and in pain is not an easy thing to do. However, doing what we don’t like to do at the time it needs to be done is an absolute and indispensable life skill. It will be useful for the rest of your life, not just during grief. Start today with one of the above with the firm intention of reducing isolation and reinvesting in life.

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