I broke up with my boyfriend and I miss him, should I contact him?
Missing an ex boyfriend is a common thing after a breakup, even if it was you who made the ditch. While you certainly understand that for whatever reason you decided the relationship had no future at the time, the feelings you have for your ex-boyfriend tend not to go away right away just because it was you who made the breakup official. Thinking to yourself “I broke up with my boyfriend and I miss him” can inevitably lead to the question “Should I contact him to tell him how I feel?”
Remembering the good times
Right now, you are probably remembering the best qualities that your ex-boyfriend possessed. Perhaps the two of you shared a favorite hobby or very similar mindset that brought you so close. There is nothing wrong with that, of course. It is natural to remember the best times, because it is those cases of perceived pleasure that you now miss having in your life; not the bad times.
As you adjust to your new bachelor status, you will likely have to grapple with residual feelings of love, admiration, and respect for your ex-boyfriend, even if the two of them ended up on relatively dire terms. You do this simply by placing more emphasis on your best qualities than he enters your mind. Just remember, the relationship wasn’t perfect or it wouldn’t have ended. It is logical that your ex boyfriend was not perfect either. Surely, there is so much, if not more, about your ex boyfriend that you remember that he was not entirely attractive to you, or you would never have broken up with him in the first place, right?
Was the breakup a mistake?
Sometimes, as you delve into the circumstances surrounding your split with your ex, you may begin to realize or feel that it was all a huge mistake. Maybe you two just said some things that, at the time, neither of you really wanted to say. Or maybe your boyfriend did or said something that, after the terrible day you were already having, set you off. Is it possible that everything will spiral out of control from there?
Of course, figuring out exactly why you broke up with your boyfriend is a good idea, especially if you’re considering contacting him again right now. Analyzing a failed relationship allows you to learn from the mistakes you have made so that you can avoid them in the future. Similarly, you need to understand why you really miss your ex boyfriend and why you even wonder if you should contact him now or not. Look carefully at the relationship the two of you had together to determine if they really miss him because they are still “so in love with him” or if they just miss him and want to contact him for a lesser reason.
Should I contact you or not?
Whether or not you should contact your ex boyfriend after you break up with him depends on several factors. If you carefully reviewed the circumstances surrounding the breakup and determined that it was a mistake, that you and your ex-boyfriend deserve another chance to make it work, then perhaps you should contact him. After all, you can sit around waiting for him to make the first try, but keep in mind that he is probably suffering from being rejected. It is very likely that he will not contact you at all unless you give him at least some sign that you still have feelings for him and that the door is potentially open to reconciliation.
On the other hand, you need to be careful not to justify contacting your ex boyfriend just to see how he’s doing, or worse yet, to gain an ego boost. Ask yourself, “Now that I broke up with my boyfriend and miss him, could it be that I’m feeling lonely?” If so, then sadly, your only real motivation for contacting him is to increase your self-confidence. Unfortunately, that would not only be insensitive on your part, considering that he probably suffered a lot for rejecting him in the first place, but you could end up with the opposite result. He could completely ignore you, further damaging your ailing ego. What would be the point in that, right?
So, you see, even if you broke up with him, you should only contact your ex boyfriend after carefully considering why he feels the way you feel about the breakup now and what your real reasons are for contacting him.