Health Fitness

Life Insurance Agent Jokes – Insurance Jokes and Retirement Humor

Wipe that frown off your face. With the sale of insurance, you must constantly use motivation for yourself and to speak with clients. Give yourself a shot of some mood medications to start your day on the right track. Kick back and enjoy some insurance jokes. After a rough day, a little laugh or even a smile can help make your sometimes difficult career a little happier.

1. Three wishes A life insurance financial advisor walking along the beach finds a strangely uniquely shaped bottle. He rubs it trying to read the label. Instantly a sincere genius appears. The Genie baffles him by announcing: “I will grant you three wishes, but since I fear Satan, every wish I grant you, your biggest competitor will be doubled.” Before speaking, and as a financial advisor, he wondered how this could work in his favor.

The first wish was for $ 20,000,000 in cash. “Okay,” said the genius and his rival has $ 40,000,000 in cash. The second wish was the Ferrari of the highest quality. Instantly, a new Ferrari approaches this huge pile of cash. The genius responds: “2 new Ferraris will hit the competition’s business in a matter of minutes.” Now the financial insurer pauses for a long time, not wanting his rival to end up ahead of him. He finally tells the Genie that he is ready for his last wish.

“What’s your last what?” the Genie asks him, then reminds him that the request will be double for his rival. The insurance financial advisor answers. “I want to donate one of my kidneys for transplantation.”

2. STAY IN SHAPE Life insurance agents always tell you to stay in shape “You have to be in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60 years old. Today she is 97 and we don’t know where the hell she is.” by Ellen DeGeneres

3. LEARN INSURANCE TRICKS A new life insurance salesman in need of a boost turns to his successful vacuum cleaner salesman friend. His friend says, “Selling is easy, you don’t even need potential customers, you just have to get their attention first.” You tell the life insurance salesperson to come with you.

Both vendors appear in the old house of an old woman. Before allowing the woman to speak, the vacuum salesman rushes into the living room and dumps a large bag of nasty dirt on her clean carpet. It confidently says, “If this new vacuum doesn’t come back, I’ll eat all the dirt.” The woman loses her patience and says, “Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid the electricity bill before it was cut. Now what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?” “

4. SURVIVAL AWARD An insurance agent was completing an application and came to the part of the medical history. He asked his client how his grandfather died. This was the surprising response from his client. “I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not scream and scream like the passengers in his car.”

5. PREMIUM PAYMENTS A life insurance in your mailbox receives a peculiar note along with a blank premium payment voucher. In the note, the lady mentions that unfortunately it is necessary to cancel her husband’s life insurance policy. She writes: “We have always paid it on time. But since the sudden death of my husband, due to financial difficulties, she will not be able to pay it anymore.

6. RETIRED INSURANCE AGENT A retired insurance agent, now in his 70s, is on the operating table awaiting anesthesia before heart surgery. He insists that only his son, a surgeon, perform the operation. He signals his son. Your child asks, “Yes, Dad, what is it?” The retired agent responds: “Don’t be nervous, just do your best, if something goes wrong, remember that your mother will live with you and your wife for the rest of your days.”

7. PERSISTENT AGENT The business owner turns to the life insurance agent and says, “You should be very honored to have the opportunity to speak with me.” He continues: “So far, my secretary turned down seven insurance agents!” The agent responds: “I know, I am them.”

8. THREE ELDERS Three retirees spoke, one a former insurance executive, another minister, and the third a retired hairdresser. The question came up of what their grandchildren might say about them 40 years from now. The insurance executive stated, “I would like to recall how successful you were in selling insurance.” The minister then said, “I want you to say that he was a loyal family man.” The stylist then replied, “Me? I want everyone to say that he certainly looks good for his age.”

9. LATE PROPOSAL Good old Charlie, now 86, was content to live in a nursing home in Miami, Florida. After meeting 78-year-old Martha Jean, he became happier by the day. Finally, he fell in love with her. Finally, she plucked up her courage, got down on her knees, and told him that we had two questions to ask her.

Martha Jean smiles and replies, “Okay, ask me.” Charlie, almost sounding like he was in pain, said “Will you marry me?” Delighted, Martha Jean yelled, “Yes!” Then he asked Charlie what his second question was. Charlie managed to yell, “Martha Jean, could you help me up?”

10. EARLY RETIREMENT After testing the habits of 1,000 insurance salespeople who retired in their 50s, their founding was announced. They spent 10% of their time doing some kind of work, another 10% eating, drinking, or snacking, 35% sleeping or napping, and 45% of their time looking for things they just had a minute ago.

eleven. When is the best time to start thinking about your retirement? Answer: before your boss does.

12. What does a government retiree miss the most when they no longer have a job? Answer: Not being able to call to be sick six or seven times a month.

13. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Just one, but allow two or three days to complete the job.

14. “The question is not at what age I want to retire, but at what income.” George foreman

fifteen. “There are a huge number of managers who have retired from work.” Peter f drucker

You can find more in a previous article on the best laugh insurance jokes. There is additional material in another article on clean jokes from insurance agents.

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