My Husband Is Only With Me Because Of Our Children – Tips And Hints That Could Help

I often hear wives tell me that their husband has told them directly or made it very clear that he is not fully committed to the marriage (or even that he is in love with them) and that he is only still married for the children. While it is commendable for a parent to be so committed to their children, it is hurtful for one spouse to say or imply to another. And it leaves the wife who receives this message in an undesirable position.

If she wants more or thinks this arrangement is not acceptable, this certainly does not mean that she loves or is less committed to children, but all kinds of guilt and worry can come into play. The truth is that this arrangement is certainly not optimal for either party. Sure, children live in a house with two parents and experts agree that this is the best for them. But the lack of affection and forced commitment in that house certainly will not go unnoticed and that is going to affect them too.

In the following article, I will offer some ideas aimed at helping wives in this difficult situation. All members of the family deserve to be happy and feel valued. Hope this article helps you understand this better.

Staying married only for the children implies that your happiness and satisfaction do not matter and are not important for the well-being of your children: To be fair, I actually advocate trying to keep a two-parent family intact. I am the daughter of divorcees and I am sure that this loss has affected me in many ways. I remember the pain associated with my parents’ divorce and how it negatively affected my sister and me. So from a purely selfish point of view, I wish my parents had never gotten divorced. But I also did not enjoy the very emotional atmosphere in our house. Looking back, what I really wanted was for my parents to find a way to be really happy together.

What benefits children the most is living in a two-parent home where both parents are happy and loving to everyone who lives there. Isn’t this the kind of marriage you want for your children? Do you want them to think that it’s okay if everyone’s not happy? It is important for them to know that satisfaction is important, and if it is not present, they are likely to feel that emptiness very deeply as well.

Many people respond to this point with something like, “Well, unfortunately, I don’t see any way to provide all of those things. At this point, it’s a choice between staying married for your sake or being happy away from each other. And we think it’s better for them if we stay married for now. “

I applaud these kinds of sacrifices, but it breaks my heart that one or both parents are simply accepting their misery in the marriage as if they cannot be changed or are not worth the effort to change themselves. Ultimately, they are putting themselves last and I don’t think it’s entirely necessary. I think a lot of people could drastically improve their situation if they accepted that they deserved it, made a commitment to do so, and then followed up with some very specific actions.

It is okay to stay married because of the children, but why not make the marriage happier so that you are considering the welfare and happiness of all ?: Few people would argue with me when I tell them that the best scenario for children is a home with two loving parents who also love each other. But many people doubt that they can actually have this. I often hear comments like “Our marriage is too far away. We don’t fight in front of the kids. But we don’t love each other either. I’ve learned to live with it and I don’t think the kids know what’s going on.”

I would say that, with both people getting engaged, the marriage might not be as advanced as one would think. I also suspect that while children may not fully understand their parents’ emotions for each other, they will most likely feel and internalize (and possibly act out) them when they have families of their own.

Sometimes people understand and buy what I’m saying, but they just don’t know where to start. Their marriage has stalled and follows the same predictable pattern, so how are they going to change this? Sometimes, you have to be brave who takes the initiative. The next time your spouse makes a comment about being together just because of the kids (or implicates it with your actions), tell him that living this way doesn’t make either of you really happy, and that you are both committed to being together. It only makes sense to get the most out of it and try to be happy together.

A suggestion would be something like: “I know that you are only married for the children. You have made it very clear and it hurts. We both deserve a marriage that makes us happy. I want it for both of us. Since we know that neither of us is going to nowhere, can we work together to make things better for both of us, can we create the marriage that we would like our kids to have when they grow up, means we will have to make some changes and work a little harder, but i’m willing to do this if so “.

Now, your husband may not immediately fall into your arms and promise to change the marriage, but he will listen to what you have to say. And, in the days and weeks to come, you can show her that what you are saying is serious through your actions. And very slowly and gradually, you may start to see some changes in your behavior.

Usually one person will start the process and the other will eventually start to align, even if they are not fully aware of this. Once they start to reap some positive benefits, they likely want to continue as people move towards what makes them feel positive and away from what makes them feel negative.