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Sanity Savers for Single Moms, Part 1

Being a single mother is not an easy task. I know. I was a single mother of two less than six months ago, so I can say with some authority that being a single mother is a beast. It can drive you crazy if you let it. The insanity is not just that you have to raise children alone and be a mother and father. The insanity gets worse when you add a full-time job, not enough money, peer pressure, not to mention being blamed for all the ills in society. How does a single mom stay stylish under pressure? How do you avoid holding a knife at the next person who says “it’s not that bad”? What prevents you from pulling your hair to the minimum and to the maximum avoid killing yourself, your children or simply your spirit? The following five Sanity Savers offer some solutions I find that help me get through some really tough times. They may be a temporary fix, just for the time being, but at some point that’s all a gaunt single mom needs.

1. Music lifts the soul.

Listen to uplifting music that inspires, energizes and praises God. When I’m in a particularly deep depression I put on a happy gospel or jazz CD and dance like no one is watching (no one is). After a few moments of that, I feel 80% better. I feel more energetic and positive and the problems seem small.

2. Keep a journal to remove cobwebs.

Writing my thoughts and prayers clears my mind and connects me to God (or whoever you believe in). It brings me closer to him. I feel a deeper connection with him because I am sharing all my thoughts and feelings with him. I find that the best time to write is in the early hours of the morning. My thoughts are fresh and I can concentrate better. I put the pen on the paper and simply write what comes to mind or follow a specific order of giving thanks, confessing and repenting, interceding for others and asking. Whichever way I choose is fine as long as I communicate with God.

3. Meditating

Calm my mind I do it in complete silence or with soft music in the background. Meditating puts me in His sphere. I think of His goodness and mercy towards me and His love for me.

4. Talk.

Talking to others or to God through prayer is another way to keep your sanity. Talking to someone gets all that is pent up and clears your mind and body. Issues and concerns can be discussed over the phone or in person while driving, standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes, or while cooking or cleaning. Talking to God can happen at any time; particularly for me, doing it in the shower seems like the best time.

5. Reading.

Read the bible or book of affirmations. Some of my favorite passages are in the Psalms and the New Testament. The words are my words, especially in the Psalms. I have hope when I read the scriptures. When I’m having a particularly difficult time and can’t bring myself to read entire passages of scripture, I just read one verse and ponder it. It gives me what I need in that moment and keeps me connected to God. An affirmation book helps me stay positive about life when my outlook is negative. The power of positive thinking is priceless.

Hopefully you’re a much saner single mom now. The tips described above are not difficult to practice. It takes a few minutes to insert a CD or write down some thoughts in a diary to decompress them. Meditating for 15 to 30 minutes or just taking a five minute breath is simple. Calling a friend or whispering a prayer does wonders for your stress level, and finally reading a scripture verse or affirmation can bring calm to your downcast spirit. Take the time to follow these tips. It could mean the difference between a padded room or a comfortable chair. You owe it to yourself and your children.

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