the past is no excuse
“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure”
~ Don Wilder and Bill Grinch
Many people struggle to let go of the past and allow what happened to them in that moment to continue to affect their lives. I know how difficult it is to deal with the things that have plagued you in the past, but unless there comes a time in your life where you accept responsibility for what happens in your life today; you will keep blaming things outside of yourself for why things are the way they are now.
There are many people who have had a worse time than you have, and some have had a much better time than you have. Regarding the people who have had the worst; I know one thing about life, when you think you’ve had a bad time, someone has always had a worse time. These people either pick up the pieces and GO ON WITH THEIR LIVES (I can list many of them, but the one you might recognize is Oprah) or they wallow in misery about what happened to them when they were young and use it as an excuse for how they are living now. .
On the other hand, I have seen many people who grew up and led privileged lives become failures and others become even more successful.
Your circumstances and who you choose to be with are a direct reflection of what you think you are worth and what you think you deserve. Until you start to KNOW that you are a wonderful, loving person who deserves all the happiness as the next person, you will continue to attract toxic people and situations into your life. It’s about what you believe to be true.
The only thing you have control over is what you continually tell yourself about anyone, anything, and any event in your life. If you constantly say negative things to yourself, you will continue to live in confusion and unhappiness. If you begin to tell yourself that you can break out of this rut and finally, once and for all, put the past behind you and take responsibility for your life, then what you experience will begin to change.
Looking at your life, you can see that life is a series of choices, and all of your choices come with consequences, which you are living right now. What I think is that you have to make a decision. You have to stop blaming your past for the circumstances of your life. Then start taking responsibility for the choices you’ve made because your past doesn’t force you to make them, it forces you to.
Not many people have enjoyed growing up, but if I were to sit down and say, “My life is like this because of what I had to deal with growing up.” Well, how long can I use the past as an excuse for how I’m living now? Instead, tell yourself, you know, it may have been terrible growing up the way I did, but I’m putting the past behind me and I’m going to take control of how I live in the future. I am going to stop allowing my past to cloud and destroy my present life.
It is a decision you make. It’s a choice you make. Or you can do it, or you can stay the same. You choose. It’s easy to tell if you’re making good or bad decisions. You can tell by using your feelings as a barometer. How do these choices make you feel? If you are happy, excited, expecting good things, etc., then you are on the right track. If you are angry, fearful, frustrated, or sad all the time, your feelings are there to guide you out of your misery.
You can change your old patterns and beliefs, but there is not a single person on the planet who can do it for you, except you.
We usually make decisions that will validate our beliefs. You already feel a certain way inside, so to be right, you make decisions that will prove you right; that’s the way we set ourselves up in life. Whatever you believe to be true, you will find a way to make it true, even if you do it subconsciously. By making unhealthy and self-limiting decisions, you stay in a place where you show that you are not worthy of what you want.
Life is too short to live every day in drama and chaos. Make decisions in the future that will improve your life. Stop using your past as an excuse for why you make bad decisions. Sometimes we never realize why the past made us the way we are, but there’s no need to die trying to find out. It is what it is, and it is now what it is now, because of your choices.
Make the best, not the worst, of what life has to offer. You really deserve it; you may not know it yet.