The tyranny of comparison
Do you compare yourself to others all the time? Having trouble figuring out what to wear to a show? Do you call your friends and compare yourself to them all the time?
If you answered yes to any of the questions above, it’s fair to say that you make a lot of comparisons in your life. And this can lead to many frustrating moments for you and others.
The main problem with the comparison is that it makes us feel less about ourselves. When we compare, we never feel like we are enough. And this can lead to many self-esteem issues that will follow you into adulthood and beyond.
The best way to avoid comparison is not to compare. This can be difficult to do at first because we live in a world that is always being compared. Even our educational system stresses the importance of comparison. They compare us to others in terms of who performs better on tests and subjects. We are also compared on who does the best in athletics.
So the comparison has its place. Yet we overuse it, to say the least, when it spoils every moment and makes us feel less than all of our peers and friends. The truth is that we are not less than anyone. We are who we are in a unique way.
In other words, each of us has a unique personality and character traits. Yes, this makes us all different, but isn’t that a good thing? What if the world was made up of only one type of person? Wouldn’t that be boring?
Comparison also undermines our self-esteem over time. We end up thinking much less of ourselves, and if we keep copying everything other people do, we will never know who we really are. And ultimately, when we are adults, we will be living someone else’s life.
This can lead to inauthenticity and meaninglessness in your life. After all, if you are duplicating the stuff of others, how can you know that you are doing what you really need to do, given your beliefs and values? I suppose not. But this uncertain mindset can cause you a lot of frustration and unhappiness later in life.
Therefore, the best thing you can do for yourself is to live a life that is truly yours. Don’t compare yourself to others, but you are incomparable to others. You are who you are, and your friends and family are who they are. Just as we cannot change who others are, they should not be able to change who we are. But we have to get to know who we are. And we can only do that if we don’t constantly compare ourselves to others.
We all deserve an authentic life. The good news is, it can be ours if we just get out of the marriage-go-round comparison.