What constitutes an enviable relationship

Everyone wants a healthy relationship, but not everyone works for it. Achieving a healthy relationship is a responsibility that falls on the shoulders of both parties involved. If someone asks you what things can contribute to a strong and satisfying relationship, you probably have a lot to say to get your point across. You can make good points by saying, love each other, build trust, never try to cheat, be honest, etc. However, I have seen men tell me that they have tried all of these things in their relationship and yet things have not worked out. But okay, these are the things that can help you build a strong marriage relationship.

IMPROVE YOUR SIGHT.

Good sense makes a man slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook offense. Proverbs 19:11 [RSV]

Healthy relationships are not conflict-free, but they resolve them. In other words, there is no such thing as an offense-free relationship. Any relationship, whether it’s parent to child, husband to wife, fiancé to girlfriend or whatever, is an offensive place. If you do your best not to offend anyone, people will offend you. While your silence is a response to someone, it can be an insult to someone else. In your attempt to please two you may end up offending ten. Even when you don’t mean to, the way you speak can be offensive. Understand well, we live in a world surrounded by people who make everyday life a bad or a good experience. Therefore, you will no doubt be especially offended by what some people choose to do. Therefore, relationship on any level is never a conflict-free affair. The only problem is that we fight to win and have points and the long-awaited victory, instead of fighting for solutions. We need to understand that the relationship combines different people with different experiences, different levels of exposure, norms and potentials. Our relationships must go and grow through these differences if we are going to preserve our relationships of friendship constantly and continuously.

Furthermore, true love does not excuse offenses but rather overlooks them. Therefore, it is one of the ways that love is tried and tested. You can’t really tell how much you love a man until he offends you and you find a place to forgive and forget him. True love is shown on the basis of forgiveness and omission. Even when it hurts so much, love forgives and overlooks an offense. If you are going to build a strong and enviable relationship, you had better learn to at least overlook and forgive offenses. You can’t keep fusing and smoking about every subject. You can’t make a lasting relationship if you make a fuss every time your partner hurts your feelings. Take it or leave it, the big problems are not the destroyers of our relationships but the little foxes, the little mistakes, the little excuses, the complaints, the bitterness, the anger and the resentment.

Let me go back to where we started. He says: “Good sense slows a man to anger, but it is his glory to overlook offense.” He didn’t say that common sense keeps a man from getting angry. If I told you that you should never get angry, you would hear that half-truth. He just says to apply common sense when you feel offended, when you get angry or hurt. Common sense is the application of discretion when it comes to sizzling frizzes in your relationship. That is, his ability to handle problems when things are about to get out of control. Your sense of judgment, reactions and actions must at least make sense. It’s easier to be right and end up being wrong. You must apply your senses and think fast before things get worse.

I remember when I started dating years ago. The joy, excitement, and passion at the beginning of our relationship were hot as fire. You know that during the early stages of a romantic relationship, there is often more emphasis on emotions, especially those of love, intimacy, and passion, rather than physical bonding and intimacy. We would always want to see each other every day. We had time for phone calls, texts, gifts, cards, dates, and whatever you can think of. We really love each other. However, the first four weeks of our marriage were like hell on earth. Every day brings different challenges, disagreements and conflicts. I wondered if I really married the same woman I used to know. Isn’t this the same woman I called my queen? However, I have learned my lessons by understanding that our differences are the main platforms for disagreement. So how do I handle this? Otherwise, the curve will eventually break. However, we were able to handle the issues when we realized that some issues need to be overlooked.

Trying to slow down sometimes and think about what to do can give you an opportunity to learn how to handle problems maturely. Your spouse may see things from a different perspective than you. But how will you understand his points if you are not careful to observe them? When you’re not patient, it doesn’t take forever to mess up what you’ve been building for years. Common sense gives you the ability to control your temper, calm down and decide on the right approach. Good sense makes a man slow to anger, but it is his glory to overlook offense.” Consider the final part of that scripture. It is his glory to overlook offense. It means, after carefully observing the present situation, you end up being celebrated for your judgment. You may even find that it’s not a subject that should bring disagreement. Sometimes silence can be the best response when noise fills the air.

Do you know that building a house is not as expensive as maintaining it? Construction is the last thing, but maintenance is immediate, permanent and continuous. The same is applicable to our relationship. Finding someone you love is not as difficult as keeping what you find. Maintaining a relationship is a job in itself. A work in progress. You can manage and build an enviable relationship when you realize that some mistakes, mistakes, and problems need to be overlooked. It can be difficult, but it is a task that must be carried out. It can only be difficult when you want to win. That is why you can criticize and blame until your anger starts to burn hotter and hotter. Overlooking an offense doesn’t make you stupid. It is your glory and respect when you take such steps. It is an honor of a wise man.

Furthermore, love is an outward expression of an inward impression. The outward expression here is what you sacrifice to prove your love to your spouse. The evil that you are capable of doing good. The mistakes you can overlook, the excruciating things you can take, and the unacceptable things you are likely to accept. The inner impression there is your true love that you can never change into anger, resentment, malice, and unforgiveness. Love that cannot be denied because of offenses. This impression of love is there to convince you that the action that provokes your anger is not intentional. So you should ignore the errors and move on. To overlook is to ignore an action that displeases your personal opinion and upsets you. To ignore here means to treat the matter as unimportant or unintentional.

Take this for example; your partner is the talking type. While playing pranks on you, he embarrasses you in the presence of your friends. So, do you immediately react in public to show your discontent? No. Sometimes, there are opportunities to speak but there are no words and when there is enough to say, there is no time for it. Therefore, you will create time to discuss that topic later. Even when others respond by saying it’s embarrassing, you should avoid their opinion and treat it as a joke. Just say, he really didn’t mean it. Learning to ignore failures can preserve the future and build a healthy relationship.

However, true love does not hide your true feelings and enthusiasm. Doesn’t mean you can’t be angry. Remember, you are yourself, you cannot be someone else. You can’t hide your reactions and you just have to control your anger. Uncontrollable anger will take its toll on your relationship. The scripture says, “Spurning another’s faults preserves love; talking about them separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9. This means that it is easier for close friends to break up if there is no contempt or carelessness in their love life.

How can you do this? Control your temper.

Do you think the Bible teaches that we should not get angry? No. It just says… in your anger do not sin. Ephesians 4:26. that is, if you are angry, make sure it is not sinful anger. Don’t give the devil a foothold in your relationship. A bad temper is not something to be proud of, but something to pray for. When you explode, you simply reveal your content, says one man. And who among us has not done it and repented?

Let me be more honest here. I’m not saying you have to overlook everything. No. Will a man overlook infidelity, dishonest practices, cheating, and abuse? Of course not. That is already beyond limits, but such acts need to be handled differently, which we can perhaps discuss here. But in this overlook aspect, keep these points in mind.

1. Misdirected anger can open the doors to an attack on your relationship. The unexpected will always happen, but management requires wisdom.
2. Bad temper will make you lose too much. It will cloud your sense of judgment. And if all you have is a hammer in your hand, then every problem looks like a nail. Therefore, you are ready to crucify your spouse.
3. The biggest sacrifice you can make in your relationship is to forgive. Forgiveness brings peace, strong bond and unity. Always find a place to forgive in your heart.
4. Try not to keep problems too long. When things get out of control, gather courage and get together with your partner to solve it. Do not delay in resolving the misunderstanding.
5. When you’re wrong, don’t be hesitant to apologize. Even when your apology doesn’t undo the wrong you’ve done, it will make amends. “I am sorry” it’s a five-character word, but it has the power to make amends when we’re ready to put it to good use. Do it when necessary. “I am sorry” it is a universal language that has the power to make amends. Power is only in the hands of those who use it wisely. So the question is when was the last time you made good use of it.
6. Practice patient, he is an enduring doctor; he will always win and find his way to the top. He learns to tolerate each other. Be patient with each other, because this is a necessary ingredient and recipe for the spices of love.
7. Take the time to study your partner to know what he wants from you. We get offended mainly because we don’t really know what the other likes or doesn’t like.