Book Review: Out of the Shadows
Patrick Carnes is a speaker and author who has become an expert in the field of sexual addiction and codependency. “Out of the Shadows”, his first book, clearly describes how lives and families are affected when intimacy is replaced by compulsive behaviors.
Dr. Carnes defines addiction and uses case studies to allow the reader a greater understanding of how addiction begins and progresses in people’s lives. His addictive cycle chart shows several important stages that contribute to and reinforce addiction: these include belief system, poor thinking, ungovernability, worry, ritualization, sexual compulsiveness, and despair that add to the problems that he experiences. individual initially faced.
Personal pain and lack of intimacy can be difficult. Childhood trauma can often fuel a person’s desire to find an escape. Sex is at the core of our identities, but if used as a replacement for healthy relationships, the consequences can be devastating.
Dr. Carnes maintains that there are different levels of addiction. It also describes how cybersex has become a major problem for some due to the availability and secrecy it provides.
But the sex addict is not the only one who suffers. Family members can be involved in the coadiction and often, in their attempts to fix things or hide them, they become facilitators.
Dr. Carnes is not only a pioneer, but also a researcher who has invested years of his life in developing effective ways to communicate with and treat people affected by sexual addiction. In addition to narrative, it uses graphics, checklists, and provides resources to facilitate understanding.
The good news is that there is an effective treatment available. Dr. Carnes clearly shows how twelve step programming can help the addict come out of the shadows and learn to live a healthy and fulfilling life.
“Out of the Shadows” was originally published in 1983 and has been revised twice since then. Therefore, the information and research are up-to-date.
A resource guide contains a recommended reading list, as well as contact information for various organizations that help sex addicts.
This book is suitable for therapists, addicts, codependents, and people who just want to learn more about the topic. It is written in an easy to understand style.
I like the fact that “Out of the Shadows” not only describes the danger signs, dynamics and consequences of sexual addiction, but also offers solutions and hope for those who want to make positive changes.