Build your team: understand and appreciate communication style differences

You’ve probably noticed that a good part of the world approaches problems, tasks, people, and play differently than you do. If you’re leading a team, you may have wondered why some people enjoy the camaraderie of team meetings, while others go through those same meetings in the hope that they start on time and end quickly. You may have found that the drive to action exhibited by some members of your team is balanced by the need to evaluate or analyze expressed by others on the team.

In fact, our workplaces are filled with fascinating and complex people who do and say things that continually surprise us. If you manage a diverse team of people, it’s up to you to learn not just how to value these differences, but also how build up about these differences. As a first step, you need to begin to understand your own communication style, as well as your individual strengths and weaknesses.

It doesn’t have to be a complicated process to begin to identify communication style differences. You have probably seen some patterns in yourself and in the people you work with. For example, you:

It’s interesting to note that it doesn’t really matter how or why you developed these preferences. It’s only important to realize that you have preferences or habits that you tend to rely on to make your way in the world. Of course, we all have the ability to do whatever the situation requires of us, but let’s face it: there are some behaviors that are simply more comfortable for us than others.

Let me give you an example: When a member of my team drops a problem on my lap, my first instinct is to ask questions and collect data. When I have enough information, I can begin to evaluate my options. When you’ve thought about those options, I can recommend a trial solution. Would it surprise you to learn that I prefer an analytical communication style? (We call this style parser at NetSpeed ​​Leadership.)

Now let’s think about the team member who dropped the problem on my lap. Maybe you’re actually a bit upset that you didn’t catch an error that created the problem. Let’s imagine you feel pretty bad about the problem and expect me to take a few minutes to empathize with your discomfort and reassure you that we will work together to fix things. Perhaps she is more concerned with her relationship with me, her boss, at this time, than with solving the problem. Would it surprise you to learn that she prefers a relationship-oriented communication style? (We call this style Anchor).

As you imagine this scenario, you can probably guess that we would be like two ships passing by at night. In the face of my questions and my data collection, she would probably break down in tears, convinced that I had really screwed up. If I recognize that you need empathy and support before you can move on to problem solving, we will probably make further progress in solving the problem together.

Without an appreciation for these kinds of style differences, team members can also misunderstand, overreact, and experience unnecessary frustrations. A member of my team is very focused on deadlines. You have a never-ending to-do list, and you get most of your daily satisfaction working your way through that list. The more activities you do each day, the better you will feel. When you leave at night, your desk is perfectly organized and ready to tackle the challenges of the next day. It’s probably not a surprise to hear that you prefer a results-oriented style of communication. (We call this style the Achiever).

Now imagine this Achiever working with another team member who loves the creative process. In fact, brainstorming, messing with ideas, and finding creative solutions take up a good part of your day. If you look in his office, you wonder how he can find something on his desk. There are piles of paper everywhere, magazines open to interesting articles, sticky notes with ideas, a collection of books, and a notepad with notes, lists, random thoughts, and important phone numbers. She loves going to the Achiever’s office and brainstorming with him. You can guess that she prefers a communication style that is creative and certainly not based on deadlines. (We call this style Adventurer).

If I want to develop synergistic teamwork, then not only do I need to select team members who exhibit these different styles, but I also need to make sure that they value these style differences in their teammates. Otherwise, the team will waste a lot of time disagreeing on style differences rather than negotiating good work strategies that meet everyone’s needs.

So, as a team leader, where should you start? Consider inviting each team member to share some accomplishments with other team members in a team meeting. As that team member talks about these proud moments, everyone else records the gifts, talents, and abilities they demonstrated to be successful.

For example, imagine the Achiever describing his accomplishment completing the New York City Marathon. It describes the daily training you did, the training plan you developed, the goals you set, your commitment to running the race despite unusually high heat on race day, and your satisfaction with reaching your personal goal: to run the marathon in less than 4 minutes. Team members may notice gifts, talents, and abilities such as goal setting, perseverance, commitment, results-oriented, disciplined, and self-directed. As they notice these positive qualities, they begin to see what their teammate has to offer the team.

Next, consider presenting the communication or behavior styles to the team. At NetSpeed ​​Leadership, we offer a three-hour training module called Working with Communication Styles to help organizations develop awareness of style differences, the language of appreciation, and the ability to capitalize on these differences. As each team member begins to understand their own preferences and moves from judging others who exhibit different styles to appreciating and taking advantage of those style differences, your team begins to mature. And your job as a team leader gets a little easier.