Simple personal care for movers and shakers

As busy business owners, leaders, and professionals (often with lives of work, volunteering, and family), it can be challenging to prioritize let alone follow through when it comes to truly taking care of yourself. Sometimes this issue is dismissed as a fluffy, girly problem. However, while men don’t often get manicures or pedicures or schedule coffee chats with friends, both men and women need to make sure they’re getting some rest and replenishing their own energy. This is taking care of yourself.

When we don’t take care of ourselves, we put ourselves in a position of increased vulnerability to stress, resulting in reduced emotional management and a pathway to burnout. While our self-care actions may not make our top 10 list today, it’s time to start adding them to your list! Before you make a list of “ideals,” you’ll need to understand what self-care means to you.

For years, my friends and family have chided me for burning the candle at both ends and for having to take care of myself. Sometimes it was difficult to understand what they meant. I knew I was busy, but I was doing things that were important to me, that I loved, and that I found energy and space for. My friends and family would say space at the cost of my downtime, but sometimes I felt confused about what I was supposed to be doing. I couldn’t imagine sitting at home reading a book for 3 hours or even a single hour, or taking a whole day to go hiking while trying to do the hobbies I enjoyed. It felt like an oxymoron: “Relax and take care of yourself, but don’t schedule anything.” How do you get a massage without booking it and where do I squeeze it into my busy schedule? Usually he would reply, “I’m fine.” I had a few personal care items scheduled into my day and felt very energized despite my business, but I knew I wasn’t really taking care of myself or taking time for the luxuries of downtime, but it seemed more stressful planning them in the day too.

What finally caught my attention, as is true for many, is when my body couldn’t keep up with me the same way it used to. After my second daughter was born, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism. Symptoms are supposed to include tiredness, mental confusion, body aches, etc. I thought, “What’s new? You just have to push it.” The diagnosis didn’t really change anything, except to increase the concern of my friends and family that I would calm down and take care of myself. Enjoying being productive and getting things done, I maintained a full schedule with 2 jobs, family, and a heavy volunteer schedule.

Then, I reached my 40 years. While enjoying everything I was doing, I found that a fair amount of stress came with the low margin I allowed myself. The combination of stress and health is what I attribute to some of the anxiety challenges I started having that ended in panic attacks. This caught my attention. I tried to handle this new challenge with mediation, but found that it had additional side effects. I tried to go back to my years of choices and efforts to exercise, meditate, journal, have quiet time, etc. I started noticing the activities of those who were getting older but looked young vs. those who were the same age who looked old. That’s when I started to consider how my low margins helped me get a lot done, but added significantly to my stress load. My stress load contributed to my compromised help and increased anxiety which then had its own ripple effect.

So maybe you’re still in denial about self-care and people are telling you to slow down, or maybe you’ve had your own turning point and recognize the importance of self-care. I believe that everyone needs to take care of their body, mind and spirit that they have, but speaking to those who move and shake on the move, you need to take special care of yourself. You connect with a lot of people, you have an impact, and depending on your level of self-care, it will affect your ability to keep doing what you’re doing, as well as the degree of positivity you share while doing it. So how do you do it?

#1) The Basics. The fundamentals are those things that contribute to its continued sustainability. When we are healthy and young, we can easily take advantage of this health and get away with not doing the basics. The older we get, the more we see the impact of this lack of self-care or the incredible form of those who took the time. Research and health articles continually have similar suggestions:

– SLEEP. Do not fool yourself. You need 8 hours.
– MOVE ON. Even a daily walk is better than nothing. Get a pedometer. Do 10K steps. Get out (lived in MN, I know how hard it can be).
– WATER. Drinking your body weight in water is ideal, but for some of us, simply MORE water is a win. Add lemon slices or whatever helps you get as much as possible every day.
– GREEN. Eat more greens and vegetables (kale, spinach, etc.). Honestly, good vegetables are hard for me, but the more often you add them to your diet, the easier it becomes.
– ANTIOXIDANTS. Either with good foods (turmeric, cinnamon, oregano, blueberries, nuts, etc.) or a great supplement.
– BREATHE. Whether it’s classic meditation or just 10 deep breaths a day, increase your moments to relax, de-stress and fill your body with oxygen.

#2) Restoring your Body, Mind and Spirit. I think there is a difference between the self-care checklist and learning to listen to my inner self and intuition for self-care. A checklist can be used to help brainstorm, get started, or allow you to experiment with different options of what is really needed. The deepest self-care is not about being a slave to a checklist, but about answering the call of the inner self. For example, if you are thirsty, the body needs water. You could look at the drinks menu: soft drinks, tea, coffee, juices, water… but you know what your body really needs, listen to your body and you will know that if you try to drink the other options you will still be thirsty. The body needs water to cool down. Likewise, in our self-care it is important to learn to listen to ourselves and listen to what our body, mind and spirit ask of us.

– Examples of checklists that include activities of common self-care suggestions in your daily and weekly routine:
– Body (helps your body feel better physically): massage, walk outside, eat a salad, exercise, stretch, take a 10-minute break, eat fruit, have breakfast, drink more water, reduce sugar, sunbathe, laugh
– Mind (helps reduce stress and clear the mind to relax): meditation, playing the piano or an instrument, reading a book, journaling, making a list, setting a limit, reading positive quotes and inspirations, tidying up, unwinding for an hour
– Spirit (enlivens the heart, brings joy and a sense of inner peace): coffee with friends, listening to music, going out, dining out, reading the Bible, prayer, keeping a binder of cards and reviewing, reducing or eliminating toxic and negative. people in your feeds, volunteer
– Intuitive steering. When you are able to listen to your intuition and your inner voice, it will tell you what you need. It may sound like things that are on the self-care list or it may be completely random. You may not want to, but understand how wise your body is and trust that it is giving you good direction on what you need. Could be like this:
– You’ve been inside all day on your computer. You feel sluggish and tired. You ask yourself: “What do I need to recharge?” GO FOR A WALK.
– You have felt uninspired and unmotivated. You ask yourself: “What do I need to refuel?”
– You feel lonely even though you have people around you. You ask yourself, “What do I need to renew?” CALL YOUR OLD BFF FOR DRINKS.
– You feel overwhelmed and behind. You ask yourself “What do I need to de-stress?” MAKE A LIST.
– You feel frustrated and nervous about all your projects. You ask yourself, “What do I need to relax?” LISTEN TO MUSIC AND GO FOR A WALK.

Whatever it is, the point is that there is no right or wrong. It is not an act of magic. It is listening to your inner self and allowing your body to creatively tell you what is needed. This may sound a bit ‘woo-woo’ and I hope it’s clear that I’m not talking about anything illegal or inappropriate, but as you get used to listening to your body (through being still and calming your mind and listening to your heart) , you will get useful information that does not come from your head and the list of things that can never be done, but real self-care that is only for you, in this moment and moment to help you be at your best!