Surviving long distance relationships
Then you and your partner get on the line. He or she is not the typical boy or girl next door, but someone who is located on some distant planet in the entire universe. After weeks or months of long hours of friendly chatting and exchanging messages, both of them finally decided that it is time to meet. So Cupid crossed the vast oceans to unite Romeo and Juliet. After a couple of dates and candlelit dinners, their relationship took it to the next level. But his Romeo needed to come back and a distant relationship began.
But sustaining a relationship across the miles isn’t as easy as falling in love. In fact, experts predict that more than half of those who ventured into this type of relationship failed by the third month. Even married couples who are forced to live apart most of the time due to career changes or personal obligations are not exempt from the unfavorable effects of prolonged separation.
However, the remaining percentage who have fortunately survived – at least so far – expressed that any couple that has a strong desire to keep their relationship lasting despite the distance can beat the odds. Like any other type of relationship, it is not easy but it is not impossible either.
That is how:
1. Trust each other. Ever wonder why couples who started on the right note ended up singing a bad tune by the time geographic distance was established? It’s the “trust” factor. Long-distance relationships that are built on trust often outlasted their counterparts that didn’t have this indispensable ingredient. The death of a relationship is often attributed to a lack of trust or the absence of it. Eighty percent of my ten year marriage was spent in terms of unimaginable distance. Imagine what could have happened if my husband and I didn’t trust each other.
2. Enjoy your freedom. One thing that couples find difficult to cope with during long periods of separation is the need for intimacy which, if not dealt with properly, could lead to infidelity. The first time I slept without my husband by my side was one hell of a fight. But eventually I began to enjoy the newfound freedom associated with his absence. I no longer have to pick up a wet towel that was carelessly thrown on the bed, no one is hovering over me in the kitchen anymore, the TV is now set to only one channel when I watch, no one will force me to join the dining room even if I’m following my own diet program and best of all no one will wake me up in the middle of the night just because someone needs to exercise their marital rights. Now, regarding intimacy, how would you maintain it without the physical aspect? keep reading
3. Keep the lines open. Out of sight, out of mind? False. As long as you keep your lines of communication open, this paradox will not happen to you. I appreciate the time and money my husband is investing in making a call at least twice a week. Keeping in constant contact is a way of keeping our intimacy alive. If you and your partner or spouse communicate constantly, you’ll be forced to talk to each other in more productive ways, perhaps opening up to each other more, which you may not be able to do when talking face-to-face because it’s awkward. Surprisingly, you will notice that there is more to intimacy than just making out in bed.
4. Demand and expect less. Now you learned the importance of constant communication. But now you demand that your husband or wife call you every day at set times, even if you knew he or she can’t. Along with annoying and unreasonable demands and expectations are poisonous and most women fail in this aspect of their relationships. Some days, my husband works twelve to sixteen hours, so if he doesn’t call me on a given day, I knew he was on the twelve or sixteen hour shift. It’s understandable and I don’t ask questions unless he wants to start a fight.
5. Don’t forget your sense of humor. My husband has a lot of this and it complements my more serious personality. The days are not always good, money is tight, the neighbor’s dirty and flea-ridden dog is on the lawn again, traffic is too slow, you could watch an entire movie in the middle of the street. These are things that can make a bad day and turn cool heads as hot as the sun. On the phone, I always worry about these things with my husband. While other husbands might tell their wives to just shut up and stop reacting, which could usually lead to an argument because one party wasn’t heard, my husband just laughed and said, “Honey, don’t worry about the little things”. “
For a long-distance relationship to work, both parties must commit to building a strong foundation for the relationship to survive and work toward a common goal for it to last.