Action Plan for Getting Young Children to Sleep in Their Own Beds

Are you exhausted and at the edge of your wits due to constant late-night visits from your child or children? Maybe your child just won’t stay in bed when you turn off the lights and say goodnight. If that is the case, then I am here to assure you that there is hope. You don’t have to spend years or even months or weeks worrying about your toddler’s sleeping habits and wondering when he’ll get a good night’s sleep. Pediatrician and sleep researcher Marc Weissbluth, MD, teaches a simple but effective strategy for getting young children to sleep in their own bed. By the time he finishes reading this article, he will have the tools to implement this method.

The underlying premise of the Weissbluth method is that unless a young child experiences some other unmet need (such as hunger or pain), the fundamental reason he or she will not stay in bed is because it is more pleasurable or exciting not to be in bed. . bed. Children transitioning from a crib to a bed may be curious about what happens after bedtime. The rest of the house can seem more exciting than your own bedroom. After co-sleeping as babies, toddlers are used to having their parents close by while they sleep. It is more pleasant to be with their parents than to be in their bedroom, so they want to go find their parents instead of staying in bed. The following method will work for toddlers sleeping in their own bed in both situations.

So the solution to getting toddlers to sleep in their own bed is to make it boring and unrewarding for the child to get out of bed. Negative consequences are not necessarily required, just patience and persistence on the part of the parents. Dr. Weissbluth calls his method the “silent return to bed.” Explain to your child that from now on he can’t get out of bed until morning. Tell him that you love him very much but that if he gets out of bed you will put him back to bed without speaking to him or looking at his face. Once the child has been put to bed, tucked in, snuggled, and done with any other bedtime routines that normally occur, the parent positions themselves outside the bedroom door so they are close but not visible to the child. When the child tries to leave the room, the parent calmly picks him up, without saying anything or even making eye contact with the child, and returns him to the bed.

The idea is to remain as emotional and silent as possible. For a child seeking attention from her parents, even negative emotions or disapproval can be an incentive to keep trying, and of course hugs and words of comfort or reassurance are just as strong motivators. You may have to use “quiet return to bed” dozens or even hundreds of times a night for a few nights, but your child will eventually give up and stay in bed. The entire process usually takes less than a week. Getting toddlers to sleep in their own bed can be a frustrating and exhausting process, but you will succeed if you persevere and stay consistent.