If your girlfriend needs time, that’s how you give it to her

As we all know, relationships go through phases. There are good times and there are not so good times. It is quite seasonal in nature. In fact, we can’t judge someone just because one season is not as good as the others… In truth, you won’t watch all the seasons unless you stick around. In fact, it may even pay off in the long run.

Using metaphors and analogies when dealing with relationships is great. Try not to define the events… in fact, try to accept and understand them, it’s much easier this way. Acceptance is a very beautiful thing. Other virtual people are just as important as yours and mine. During my years in high school and college I helped many friends, both women and men, they call me their love guru. All I did was listen, never offering a solution until we both absolutely understood the problem.

I have heard and understood both the male and female perspectives and guess what…they are very, very similar. I’m not a relationship expert, in fact, I really don’t believe they exist, because every relationship and person is unique and different. I like to say that wisdom is the best strategy to adopt when dealing with relationship problems. Understanding psychology is only scratching the surface, and in fact, using it the wrong way is just a manipulative tool that fails to achieve love. I would suggest that while you give your woman time, you are there for her when she is in a good mood and when she is in a bad mood. Be yourself and that is to be the person she fell in love with.

So if you are now going through a season that may seem challenging and difficult with your respective partner, don’t judge them, just accept it. Acceptance is a beautiful thing. What is beautiful can be so hard to describe sometimes. Even in the dark moments of life, there is beauty, and I have seen it.

There are many ways to overcome the conflicts we experience in relationships, there is no golden rule. All those psychological articles and techniques to get your ex back are pretty manipulative.

on my own [and others] life experience[s]Using those psychological tactics are rarely a loving way to have a peaceful relationship, they will only turn your love into a battlefield. However, the song done by Pat Benatar is great!

So what do you do if your girlfriend needs time?

** Be realistic and be cool.

The word “cool” is your friend. What do we mean by “cool”? Cool means to refrain from acting irrationally and being needy. Let’s not put her needs above hers, in fact, the difficult times we go through in a relationship will define us, make us stronger. So be happy, make her happy, and show her that you really care about her while maintaining your self-esteem. Now let’s combine analogy and metaphor, using both wisdom as we understand basic psychology.

First of all, here is some wisdom, analogy, and metaphor; Love is like a tree, it needs sun, it needs “space”, it needs “time” to “grow”. Imagine this as a healthy tree and this healthy tree looks like your relationship. If you want the tree to grow you cannot shade it and block it from the sun’s rays, by not giving it space and time and the sunlight will not grow. So try not to block her sunlight by always being close to her and not letting her use her own inner resources to solve her own problems. Now the psychology part. We all have a tendency to move “toward” the things in life with which we associate pleasure, and we also have a tendency to “move away” from the things in life with which we associate pain. This is true. Have you been pushing her away?

**Show empathy and compassion.

Empathy. Put yourself in her place, what is she feeling right now? Can you relate to what she is going through at work, home, friends, and most importantly, your relationship with her? If she is stressed, don’t stress her out anymore, instead make every encounter of hers a relaxing experience with her, not only will you make her happy but you will be able to show her why you are together and how great you are. it’s actually reinforcing her initial reason for why she loves you. Remember that she loved[s] you for a reason. I am very sure that you made her happy and excited when she met you, it is very easy to do it again and better. Why? Because you share history and you are a great person. Constantly add value and don’t be afraid to lose it and see what happens.

The word “love”. This word has so many meanings and is often abused, misled or scared of people. Well, love is everywhere and it’s not a definable feeling. Even if your girlfriend hasn’t told you I love you, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t. Love is expressed in many ways. Express your love to her by being patient and accepting her for who she is, even if she is being very cold right now. Guys, I quote: “Love is not seeing a perfect person, it is seeing an “imperfect” person perfectly.

**Hang out with your friends or plan a getaway with them.

I am very sure that you will feel refreshed sitting in a spa, having a few drinks, having a barbecue and just relaxing. You will find that the person you were when you met your girlfriend was an outgoing and independent person, do not lose that independence. If you’re going for a drink with the guys, stay safe and don’t overdo it, have fun!

**When she talks to you.

Listen to her. Stay still. Look into her eyes and don’t interrupt her. She answers all her questions and is honest.

If you maintain eye contact you will create a deeper understanding, in fact she will really feel heard. Use empathic communication. ie, “yeah, from what you’re saying, you must really feel…” Don’t engage in a solution-based conversation until you both really understand the whole problem. Let her talk and talk and talk, even if you don’t like what she says. Sometimes I make this mistake too, I just ramble.

When it’s time to go your separate ways wherever you are, give him a hug if that’s all he’s into right now, don’t go for a kiss. You will find in time that she will kiss you on her cheek and then slowly open up. Say goodnight or whatever she usually says and thank her for coming. The same goes for phone calls from her.

**Make her feel like she’s a great girlfriend.

There’s nothing worse than a woman thinking she’s been a horrible bitch to her boyfriend. Yes, they feel bad if they hurt you. I’m serious. Whenever she apologizes forgive her, if you mess up apologize too. This is a start to some healing. Tell her that you think she’s cool, even if she’s been really annoying you in the past few weeks.

**Make her laugh.

It’s okay to act funny in a manly way. I tend to repeat something and change my tone making it funny. Women love this. Remember that girls want to have fun, just like us guys.

**Don’t make her jealous by using other women.

Yes, jealousy is a very strong motivating factor for bringing someone home, but jealousy can erode your judgment and cause you to react for the wrong reason and it won’t be out of love, I can assure you. I believe in two forms of jealousy, they are good jealousy and bad jealousy. Good jealousy is usually when we get a little sense of it, but it immediately stops at that point and doesn’t intoxicate your relationship. You feel a certain emotion but it makes you recognize that you have emotion there.

Good jealousy happens while you’re in a relationship, and it doesn’t undermine your self-esteem or theirs. Bad jealousy will do exactly the opposite, it continues and plagues your relationship causing suspicion, lack of trust and obviously insecurity. Don’t play on jealousy especially with your girlfriend to make her jealous, it’s more powerful than you think and it might bite you.

** Don’t give him an ultimatum.

The worst thing you can do is give her a time limit on how long you’re going to stay or for her to make a decision. She warns you that you will be the loser. Ultimatums rarely work and this comes from my experience as a lawyer and my understanding of having a win-win situation. If you use an ultimatum, consider it a lose-lose situation.

It’s perfectly okay to tell him that you’re hurt and frustrated and that the relationship isn’t what you really want. Surely you could tell her you won’t stay if she’s still cold. You have the right to make your decisions and act accordingly (if you went this route, you obviously would have thought about it and really want to end things). ). Don’t say this to manipulate her and bring her back, she might chase you but it won’t be out of love, it will be out of fear. Trust me, acting out of love is much better for a long term peaceful relationship.

**Be strong!

It is a requirement. I have not seen this in any online post. This is not only important to you as a man, but it is important for her to see that you are her rock. If one day she is going to marry you and have children, she doesn’t want someone who can’t control their emotions and acts like a little child. Being strong not only makes her feel supported, but you will exude confidence in the right way.

**Keep your balance, exercise, read and eat well.

Stay informed on world events, read a novel, work out at the gym, and eat well. You’ll look better, you’ll feel better, and you’ll also take care of staying busy. This is not only important for your own well-being, but attractive as you have a world outside of theirs.

The reason why your girlfriend needs time may not just be about you, it’s about her, respect her. Be open to what she says and let her work things out her way and give her all the time she wants. If you wanted time and were in her situation, you would want your girlfriend to make demands on you. She treats others how you want to be treated and trust me, that’s an easy but bulletproof strategy for your relationship.