lucy barks
I have a very sweet dog who sounds like Lassie when he barks. She is of the same breed, a rough collie, and goes by the name Lucy. The first time we heard her bark was shortly after we brought her home in 2005. We had built a fire in the fireplace and brought her inside on a cold 55 degree winter night (Orange County can be brutal) to be inside of her. big pillow and enjoy a family Christmas movie. He took one look at the fire burning out of control in our living room and started calling the fire department for help. You could almost imagine the words he was trying to express: “Fire! Get out! Go this way… through this glass door! I’ll stop it, with my incredible bark!”
There are times when it can be fun to see her use her bark to protect us. If someone is vacuuming the carpet or drying their hair while you’re in the house, they’ll use their warning bark to remind us of their powerful presence and their ability to save us should appliances go off and attack. She will protect us, even if it is dangerous for her.
Occasionally he will bark at night. We have gotten used to this and do what we can to stop her when she suffers from insomnia. Usually the alpha male (my husband) will just sternly yell her name out the window and she’ll give up on the cat or possum that’s teasing her and go back to sleep. Last night my brave little collie wasn’t barking like usual. His bark was not Lassie’s barking warning that “Timmy had fallen into the well!” He was much more agitated, even angry. To be frank, she sounded completely angry. It was a terrifying bark that woke me up from the beginning stages of REM. Of course, my husband would sleep during a meteor shower at the foot of our bed, so I had to wake him up to make him stop. (Remember, he is the Alpha and she doesn’t listen to me). He made the usual call, in his deep alpha male voice, for her to stop. But, Lucy didn’t even miss a beat. She didn’t seem to mind that the Man she adores ordered her to stop. She just continued with her angry barking dog voice to yell something in the yard. Now, for those of you who don’t have a dog, you have to understand, it’s completely embarrassing when this happens because now you know that the neighbors have not only heard the robust barking, but they have also heard the screams to do it. stop and the fact that she didn’t stop. Then, of course, being a mom, you start to wonder if they’re thinking, “Wow, they can’t control their dog! I wonder what their kids are like! I bet they can’t control them either!” The whole situation leads to footage from White trash TV episodes!
Finally, to prevent the police from being called and the one remaining teenager from being taken into child protective custody, the alpha male grabs a flashlight and walks out. I’m not accompanying him because I have to stay inside with my cordless phone ready to dial 911. As he walks out the door, I’m only thankful for two things. 1) He is wearing a t-shirt. It would be very embarrassing if this got out of hand and ended up in COPS shirtless. 2) He did not take his bow and arrow. Usually when he hears a noise he sees it as an invitation to act out his Tolkien fantasies.
Outside, the very loud and very angry dog runs in circles around a large pine tree in the corner of the yard. After a few minutes of shining the light into the corners of the dark, he sees the cause of the commotion. Hidden behind his mask, sitting on the fence is Mr. Raccoon. Mr. Raccoon is completely at ease and stares at the Alpha Male and without saying an audible word, Mr. Raccoon says, “What are you doing in my garden and why is your silly dog making so much noise?” Well, the alpha male looks back at him and says, “Well, mate, the dog IS loud, so why don’t you go away?” Then Mr. Raccoon looks up in the tree. So the Alpha Male raises his flashlight to see, directly above his head, two little eyes (also hidden behind a mask) staring back at him from the tree. Ms. Raccoon is watching all the activity from her bedroom and although she is very upset about the commotion, she is glad that Mr. Raccoon is wearing a t-shirt. After a few minutes of starring, the alpha male does what any man would do at this point, he turns and runs excitedly into the house and into his firstborn son’s room: “Hey, there’s a raccoon in the yard!”
The young man was on his computer “Skyping with his girlfriend”, which, by the way, is not an immoral act that teenagers do: he is using his webcam to have live face-to-face conversations with someone who is far away. So, because the Young Man is like the Alpha Male, he finds the presence of Mr. and Mrs. Raccoon fascinating and brings his computer so he can introduce them to his girlfriend. Now the dog is still barking and the Alpha Male and the Young Man are laughing really hard and the girlfriend is stuck on the computer sitting on the patio table. Meanwhile, the noise of all this alerts the Daughter who is in the house watching Desperate Housewives. So, the Daughter (who wanted to be called The-Sexy-Blonde-The-Who-Somehow-Looks-Like-Venus-The-Goddess-Of-Beauty on this blog) went out to see what the shock. When Mr. Raccoon saw the two crazy men, the girlfriend trapped in the computer, the loud and angry dog and The-Sexy-Blonde-Who-Somehow-Looks-Like-Venus-The-Goddess-of – The beauty stared at him, decided that our family was more dangerous than she had originally supposed and went to the top of the tree to be with Mrs. Raccoon.
The crazy group, which I like to call my family, spends the next 20 minutes lighting up the masked faces of Mr. and Mrs. Raccoon while the collie continues to alert the entire neighborhood to their presence. The girlfriend on the computer starts to get cold outside, so The-Sexy-Blonde-Who-Somehow-Looks-Like-Venus-The-Goddess-Of-Beauty takes her inside to watch TV at via Skype and finally, the Alpha Male and the Young Man move the protective collie to the garage to sleep on his pillow.
This morning I’m looking out the window at my big tree, and I don’t see the raccoons up there and I wonder if they’ve gone to work yet. The radio is on and I’m listening to the weekend news. I ask my alpha male if raccoons are dangerous. Will they eat my cats? Should I be nervous? Within 4 minutes of asking the question, the radio announcer tells the story of a 74-year-old woman who was attacked by 5 raccoons. Apparently a “gang” of raccoons attacked this poor woman in her backyard and she’s lucky to be alive. Now, these raccoons lived in Polk County, so they most likely have a different mindset than the rest of the nation’s raccoons: most of the country thinks differently than those living in Florida. However, it is a bit disconcerting to think that I am sharing my garden with these little masked rodents that at any moment can decide that I would make a tasty snack.
I don’t want to focus on the Florida Raccoon Gang and their sharp claws, so I think back to the whole picture from last night. And I immediately remember why it’s OK for me to spend $22.00 on a bag of dog food. I remember why it is okay that, annually, I pay the barber more than my barber. I remember that throughout the rowdy event, which I’m sure the neighbors thoroughly enjoyed, the one constant was my loyal collie. She recognized the danger that Mr. and Mrs. Raccoon possessed and was angry that they would come near the house she is meant to protect. She never wavered from her fiercely protective way, even when she saw their cute little faces. How wonderful to have such purpose and such resolution. I can learn a lot from my dog about loyalty. How ashamed I am of not knowing better than to trust the barking of those who love me.
It’s quiet tonight and I can write and wonder about the whereabouts of the Raccoon family, but I don’t have to worry about them sneaking into my yard to climb up to their tree house unannounced. Because, after all, I have a very sweet dog who sounds like Lassie when he barks.