Marital problems – 8 things you have no idea about
When people get married, sometimes before they really get to know each other, they seem to have unrealistic expectations and when their expectations don’t meet reality, one or both of them want to jump ship, that is, end the marriage and get divorced and between Christians. , the expectations may be even more prevalent as they are more likely to think “we are both Christians, we have similar values and everything will be smooth sailing” and then reality sets in. Here are some things to consider if you find yourself in an unhappy marriage.
Recognition: Houston, we have a problem.
Conflicts and disagreements will occur at some point in your marriage and this is not a time to run into the tall grass and avoid dealing with it or even admit there is a problem.
If you don’t take care of your marriage problems as soon as possible, you may get a sore that festers, festers, and grows.
Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give place to the devil. It’s not a sin to get angry for a just cause, but if it gets to the point where you can’t control yourself, it becomes a sin.
Both spouses should not try to gain the advantage, overcome or “win” the argument, yelling or shouting louder than the other spouse, as well as being immature, is counterproductive and only serves to increase the mentality of anger and argument, which in many cases he becomes violent or does something stupid like throwing or breaking things that the other spouse values to get revenge.
A recent case of a woman who handcuffed her husband to resolve her marital problems illustrates this point, as she assaulted him as she grew more and more angry.
Time is over
Both spouses should spend some time apart if they are having increasingly heated arguments to calm down; in hindsight, you can reflect on what happened and realize that the cause of the argument was over something so trivial and stupid. Don’t delay too long as it can have the opposite effect and lead to the dissolution of the marriage, something both of you should avoid and think long and hard about before making a rash decision like filing for divorce.
Conflicting beliefs cause most marriage problems:
Did you marry an unbeliever even though the bible specifically forbids it in 2 Corinthians 6 v14 whose values contradict almost everything you believe? or you just got to know the Lord and the things you used to like to do together, like smoking pot or drinking beer until you got drunk, no longer appeal to you; but they do it with your spouse who says cheer up, you’re not funny anymore.
The fact is, this could be a nightmare, as conflicting values can put a lot of pressure on any marriage, how you raise your children and the values you want to instill in them, the different activities that you and your spouse do. . Doing things together is one of the best ways to make a marriage stronger, and when you both like to do completely different things, that can be a really devastating “marriage killer.” Should you divorce your spouse now that you know the Lord and your spouse doesn’t? you absolutely do not.
Marriage is a sacred and lifelong commitment see 1 Corinthians 7-10-20; But if you stand firm in your commitment to God and the unbelieving spouse wants to leave, then let them go.
Violence: “Look What You Made Me Do”
Both spouses can be abusers and there is absolutely no justification for resorting to violence, if you threaten, perpetuate violence against your spouse or if you feel threatened or have been threatened, the authorities may need to get involved and you may need to terminate. marriage. Marriage is a sacred institution for which you may consider forgiving your spouse if there is genuine remorse; but it’s not something to keep for target practice or an outlet for your spouse’s frustrations or something to put your life on the line.
What about God?
How is your relationship with God? Did you know that the way you relate to God or your lack of fellowship with God will directly affect your overall marriage and the way you treat your spouse and children? God has to be at the cornerstone of your marriage. There is that saying that the family that prays together stays together, which is very true. Do you really seek God, spend time in his word, pray together, do you have a forgiving heart? Do you have humility? God really does provide a moral compass, a guiding light on how couples should live.
2Corinthians 10v5 taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
As you seek God and your guidance, he will direct your paths, you will find that you become more forgiving, more insightful, able to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and actually care enough to avoid selfish prayer; but to fervently and consistently Pray for the welfare of your spouse.
third
According to the search for God, make friends with like-minded believers, spend time in the word and saturate your mind with the word, go to church as a couple and if you can’t solve your marital problems seek the ear of an objective third party that you both trust and believe is not taking sides as a Christian counselor or pastor to mediate between you.
Money money money,
Finances or the lack of them, along with sex are some of the main causes of divorce, it seems much easier to leave it, do not fall into that trap. If your spouse has lost their job, the bills are piling up, arguments and conflicts are on the rise, and even though your spouse is making valiant efforts in this tough job market and getting nowhere, you shouldn’t consider the idea. to get divorced they need to be there for each other and help each other.
A woman who saw her husband hit the streets looking for a job after recently getting a degree, took matters into her own hands and started a website to improve her husband’s chances of getting a job, she is definitely a keeper. she made a website and on the page she has a sign that says “Hire my husband” with the background of the golden gate bridge which was so sweet.
Gender: Are You Getting the Recommended Daily Allowance?
Do you or your spouse have no sex, very little sex, or just a lousy sex life? She was listening to Dr. Laura, talking about how couples shouldn’t deprive each other of sex when they want it. I don’t know about that as there are times when it’s not the right time, however sex is very important to the overall health of a marriage and despite the hypersexual world we live in with an abundance of casual sex, sex is not dirty, it is not bad, it is not something to be ashamed of and it is not something to trade for, you do this and you will get it or use it as punishment or reward.
Both spouses have a biblical obligation to satisfy their sexual needs within the parameters of marriage between one man and one woman, committed to each other for life. Are you going through really difficult times in your marriage? Have more sex. rediscover each other.
While sex alone will not hold a marriage together, it should not be neglected as an essential part of marriage. You hear about a mother bonding with her newborn son, on the same note, as you have frequent and mutually satisfying intercourse, a closer bond will be created between the two of you. Sex was created by God. Don’t let the vulgar media make your view of sex vulgar, steal your joy and make you feel ashamed or guilty. See 1 Corinthians 7:4-6.
If you have been sexually traumatized before marriage, seek professional help, it is difficult to deal with and it is definitely not your fault; but keeping it bottled up won’t help you overcome what you’ve endured to become better and stronger. person on the other side, not to mention that your spouse, while supportive at first, may eventually start to have “buyer’s remorse”
Sometimes lack of sex can be a major cause of one’s needs being met elsewhere, it could start with porn, “harmless” flirting, the need to feel attractive and to be validated and validated by others. finally having torrid extramarital affairs. That is not, in any sense, a justification for either spouse to have sexual contact or flirt with someone other than their spouse.
Bottom line: Both partners may need to compromise; but don’t say “I don’t feel like it” for months and viciously insult each other like (frigid, cold fish, one minute lord, sex maniac or animal) if one wants sex and the other doesn’t and selfishly hoping there isn’t any hard feelings.
Sex should be exciting, creative and fun, not routine; but it also can’t be something that only happens when you “feel” like having sex without considering the patience and time your spouse has been trying to accommodate your lack of desire.