My son is driving me crazy! 3 tips to help control your child’s behavior
You live a stressful life, with demands for work, shopping, paying bills, friends, family, hobbies, and everything in between. And now, your child or children are driving you crazy. You come home hoping to relax and have a calm environment, and the kids are out of control. Can’t they see you’re stressed? Oh yes, they see. Maybe not consciously, but more on a subconscious level.
TIP #1: Your child mirrors your mood
Your child or children pick up on your mood. So when you’re stressed, angry, or frustrated, they’re more likely to be, too. It is not something the child does on purpose, it is a natural reaction. Think about when your husband or wife is in a bad mood. If you are around them at any time, very soon you will also be in a bad mood. It works the same way with you children. They get their signals from you! As difficult as it can be at times, it’s important, if you want to ease the tension and chaos in your home, to project a calm and positive attitude toward your child.
TIP #2– You are the adult
It sounds silly, but time and time again I have seen a mother or father treat their child as if they had the mind of an adult. Children, even teenagers, do not have the brain development to fully understand the consequences of their actions. The children are engrossed. They are only thinking about their world, about their immediate needs. When a parent gives their child too many options, or tells them to do something and expects them to “fill in the missing pieces” of the required action, the child will become frustrated, fail, act out, or disappoint. . Not on purpose, but because they don’t have the knowledge, experience, or development to be able to acceptably complete the task correctly or to their satisfaction. This, of course, stresses him out and will probably take it out on his son. But, he thinks about what happened. Did he explain to his son every step he needed to do to successfully complete what he wanted? Or did you assume that they would inherently know what to do?
TIP #3–Your child needs and wants structure
Young children and adolescents feel more secure and comfortable with structure and routine. They need to know what to expect and when to expect it. It is reassuring for them. When a child is in an environment where activities, schedules, rules, routines are constantly changing, the child will be constantly in a state of tension and possibly anxiety. Your child will behave the way you want him to when he has developed a routine of acceptable behavior because you have created that structure and routine. What this means is that as hectic and hectic as your family schedule can be, you should make an effort to make a structured schedule and stick to it, at least 70% of the time. Dinner at the established time, homework to do before having fun with the electronic games. Maybe cell phones in a basket until things run out. If you have been managing your chaotic home environment, the change in routine and structure should be implemented, not all at once, but gradually. First, family dinner at the set time, then bedtime, and so on.
It’s not going to be easy or change overnight for your family life to change. Remember, you are the one in control to make this happen. Your children want to please you! They are also not happy when they are acting badly or out of control. The sooner you begin to understand your child’s motivations and needs and create an environment that positively supports them, the sooner it will be a pleasure to return to your family life.