In elementary school it’s pretty simple: bring cupcakes to help in mom’s room, read a story to the class, or help out at the science fair. Your child is happy, even proud, that you are a part of her classroom activities. But then comes high school. It is a new world.
“No, mom! Please don’t come! None of the other parents are coming, and I don’t want you to be the only one!”
Sounds familiar? Yes, parental involvement changes as our children enter adolescence. So we have to change along with them. Because NOT being involved is NOT the right answer.
Why is this so important? There are many reasons:
By getting involved in your child’s middle or high school, you are showing your child that you value education. When she attends school events, she is demonstrating a commitment to education. This can be one of the most powerful ways to instill this value in your teen.
Students whose parents are involved in their school tend to do better academically, have fewer behavior problems, and are more likely to graduate from high school.
Despite the impression you may get from your teen, recent research shows that teens want their parents to be involved and feel parental involvement in high school is even more important than in elementary school.
The relationships you develop at school will give you insight and perspective into your teen’s world, their friendships, and the expectations your child faces.
Your involvement lets school staff know that you value education and that you are someone they can relate to. This can have a direct and positive effect on your child’s educational experience.
Should problems arise at school or with your child, you will already have relationships with people there who can help.
Schools need your help. Schools are often understaffed due to tight budgets and can use your help in many ways.
It can be fun, and as well as finding new ways to use your skills, you’ll make new friends in your community.
The more in touch you are with your community and with your child’s friends and families of friends, the more you can support your child knowledgeably.
If you want to see change, the best way to impact it is to get involved from the inside.
You can learn new skills through your participation in the school.
There is a direct benefit to both of you from being involved in your teen’s school. This has been proven over and over again.
However, your teen’s response to your involvement deserves to be respected. If she doesn’t want you to be directly involved in her activities there, you can find other ways to participate.
Here are some approaches you can consider:
What are you doing well? If you feel comfortable writing, offer to write an article for the school’s website or newsletter.
Contact the PTO and offer your services to help them. If you like to cook, offer to prepare a dish for an upcoming event. If you’re a computer whiz, they’ll find you a job. Get creative with them to find an appropriate response that fits your schedule.
The PTO often has a person assigned to collect volunteer names, information about their interests, and serve as a liaison. Touch base with this person; get your name on some lists.
If you feel more comfortable collating or copying documents or doing office work, the school staff will soon be fighting over you! Let them know your availability.
If working at home or at night works better with your schedule, let the volunteer organizers know. They can direct you to the right opportunities and will be grateful for your help.
At a minimum, attend as many school events as you can. Get your name on the mailing lists for all announcements. To be there; and be involved. You have to pick up the phone and make it happen. It’s your job and it’s important to your teen’s success.
