Should girls play youth soccer? NO
Should girls play youth soccer?
This may be a bit of a controversial topic for some, but in the society we live in, the answer should be a resounding no.
Do some girls have the size and aggressiveness to play youth soccer? Absolutely, I see sisters of my players who would make great soccer players, but I’m not sure that’s the best thing for the girl or boys on our youth soccer team.
Today’s society seems to want to devalue women, rap music with its demeaning depiction of women as disposable and worthy of abuse, television and movies depicting women as sexual objects worthy of abuse, and the same with print media and mainstream porn.
In downtown Omaha, almost 70% of our players have no one at home. If you think I’m exaggerating, we’ve had games with 2 people in the stands and they were both women, not enough for a chain team. This wasn’t a one time deal, we’ve had a lot of games where we didn’t have 3 men to run the chains. Many of our players do not have at home a model of behavior to “copy” of how to treat a woman correctly. Boys often see firsthand women being physically and mentally abused and of course they hear it in the music they listen to, on TV and in the press. I’ve been a youth soccer coach for 15 years and the “no daddy” house problem gets worse every year. Tom Osborne in his book “Faith in the Game” states that this problem is on the rise and is responsible for the majority of crime and problems with young men.
If we let girls play football with boys, we teach them that harsh physical contact with women is acceptable behavior. In fact, as coaches we should encourage and reward this physical contact. Our players would get into the habit and get used to being physical with women, the act would desensitize everyone involved in the physical force activity that men apply to women. Meanwhile, the female is learning that rough physical contact with males is acceptable, it is now a habit. Now, while having women on your team may help the short-term progress of some of our soccer teams, I’m not sure we’re helping the boy or girl in their long-term development as productive members of our society. .
Girls are just as good and even better for boys in many activities, it’s not about girls having the ability to play. It is about breaking the abusive cycle in which many single-parent families or even two-parent families find themselves today. In my opinion, coaching youth soccer is much more than just teaching kids how to execute good soccer plays and how to block and tackle. It is about teaching valuable life lessons that the youth soccer player can carry with them to use throughout their lives. My dad taught me to treat women with reverence and respect, and I was rewarded for that behavior with a wonderful wife and a very satisfying family life. Dad didn’t just tell me, he showed me, even when he and mom had disagreements, they never got loud or physical. Modeled appropriate behavior every day, many of our children NEVER see appropriate behavior modeled for them. As children, we were threatened that hitting a girl or even pushing her was “mortal sin” material that could never happen. If it happened, my father would treat me in the harshest manner, moreover, he would also consider himself a coward.
In 2001 we had an 8-year-old soccer player on one of our Omaha teams punch a girl in the face for some sort of disagreement on the playground of our field. Of course, we talked to the boy and told him that he should never hit a woman and fired him from our show with the promise that he could come back next year if we saw a significant improvement in his attitude and actions. We felt that he needed the program and contact with strong male role models. The player had to attend all practices and games and watch, not play. We convinced the parents of the beaten girl not to file formal charges. Believe it or not, the “grandfather” of the striking players argued the boys’ case, saying the girl “pushed him first.” That made me sick, the poor kid has no daddy in the house and a “grandpa” who thinks it’s okay to punch girls in the face who push you first. No wonder her daughter didn’t have any men in the house. I wanted to punch Grandpa in the face, but I thought that wouldn’t be the right message for the boy to see either. We really worked with this child, but I have a feeling that there is a very high probability that this player will be a female user/abuser when she is older and will have a very unsatisfying family life. Although the grandson came back, the grandfather was not invited to train for us again.
I will never allow women to play in my youth soccer program. I don’t want the life lessons and memories of our football players to include when our stud linebacker took the padding off a running girl who had snot bubbles and tears running down her face.
However, some people bite the hand that feeds them. In our rural program we have not had women’s football signings. In Omaha, some mothers have tried to sign their daughters up for soccer. After the initial disappointment wore off and the mother was told why we think it makes sense in the long run for women not to play, the mothers were very supportive. I can only think of one instance where mom didn’t “get it” and kicked her son off the show because we didn’t allow the kids on our team to hit her daughter. I can still see her today, a single mom with 3 kids who needed the show who refused to listen to reason. This mom was missing two front teeth, probably from the very cycle we were trying to help break.
Today we have plate football and even wrestling between boys and girls, what’s next for boxing? or what about the final fight? Where do we draw the line? If girls are as good as boys at soccer, why not boxing? Why not fight? Why not Ultimate Fighting?
There are some who don’t care about the long-term implications for both parties, they just have a selfish desire to see their children excel, no matter the cost. I shudder at what awaits that poor girl.
Let’s draw the line in American football.
For more free youth soccer plays or free youth soccer coaching tips, visit Dave’s website:
youth soccer