The art of raising great children – Without drugs
The art of raising great kids to be drug free doesn’t necessarily mean that parents have to be great themselves. They don’t even have to be ‘super smart’ or highly educated. Parenting requires being with your children when they are sick, to watch them perform in plays and school sports. It also requires helping them with their homework; and above all, attend ceremonies when they are awarded for academic and athletic achievements.
Kids today are coming out smarter than their parents. I know that for a fact! Our own children have come from my spot. I graduated from college with an average GPA. However, I went on to make a successful career in international oil accounting. All three of our children were close to gifted students during their middle and high school years, and went on to have high GPAs in college. Two graduated and are currently developing their careers. The youngest is in his third year, taking pre-law courses.
I made parenting an art, and not an obligation or a chore when it came to raising our children. Perhaps, when I look back on my parents, I remember well how they really enjoyed raising their ten children, and none of us was denied love or attention. They made an art of keeping us whole, healthy and educated.
I have found that the degree of effort parents put into raising their children will have a more positive impact, resulting in better adjusted children, than pampering them with gifts to appease them. It’s called “quality time with a healthy dose of love and discipline.” That’s what you want to apply from the time your children are born, and continue through adulthood. This parental dedication app will give you the best chance to get your children on the right path early on in their lives and prevent them from falling by the wayside later on. That is, keep them away from drugs and mixing with the wrong group of friends.
I have known parents whose children were nice but lazy in everything else. His sons eventually became poor students and were eventually expelled from high school. I have also known parents with high aspirations and very successful lives who raised children who got in trouble with the law more than once, mainly due to the use and sale of illegal drugs. And better yet, some of these teens were fans of rave parties and missed school entirely.
On my side of the family, my parents were barely able to provide a good level of comfort and food during our growing up years. Yet all of us brothers and sisters survive well to get a formal education and become excellent providers for our own families. What was the formula? It was quality time, love and a large dose of applied discipline. I remember that the ‘dose of discipline’ was higher for me than for the rest of my siblings, maybe with the exception of my little brother.
Drawing from all my experience as a parent, and from seeing the successes and failures of close family members and friends with their children, I have provided several avenues for you to consider. I have compiled the best tips for your knowledge and use. You’ll find that, in the long run, you want to avoid major heartache with your kids and hopefully help them stay drug-free altogether. Both parents are needed for this to happen, so be prepared to put it all together with your spouse, or alone if necessary. Through your efforts today as a firm but loving parent, you could avert some future disaster that could save your child’s life.
I ask you to read all my suggestions and the ones that most appeal to you, put them into practice immediately. Know this, it is never too late to start with your children, teenagers or young adults to appreciate and love them.
1) You must be prepared to provide quality time and effort to raise your children, from the time they are born through their high school years, and beyond if necessary. It is the responsibility of both parents to raise their own children, and not just one.
2) Giving of your time does not mean being too permissive with your children. You must learn when to say Yes and when to say No to them early in their lives. When it’s No, make it a firm No! Stick to it and don’t give up on your decision. Both parents should be on the same page together when it comes to disciplining their children.
3) Discipline your children, but you also want to be judicious in your use of it. You don’t want to break their spirit. If you want great, energetic kids in your life, constantly encourage them and shower them with praise for all the little and big things they do. Build trust in them, instead of anxiety and fear.
4) Say the following words regularly to your children and continue saying them even after they become adults: “We are so proud of you”/”We are so happy for you”/”You are doing great!”/”You we love you very much”./”We are very happy that you were born for us”. She means “we” often with her children, which in turn conveys a sense of togetherness on the part of her parents.
5) Always be aware of who your teens associate with. This applies to children in the last years of elementary school and through middle and high school. If you oppose your “peers”, be reasonable, but at the same time be firm in your position. Make your point, and just keep an eye open. This is the time when you look at problem areas, regarding drugs and bad company. You may need to turn to teachers at your children’s school for help in this area, including other parents.
6) Get involved with your children in school by joining the PTA Try to keep up with their progress in school and homework. You want them to participate in recreational activities, organized sports, and other areas that help boost their self-esteem and develop leadership skills; eg, Boy and Girl Scouts, karate, etc. Bonding with your children is a great way to build lasting relationships with them.
7) If you must raise your children alone because your spouse is not willing to help you, then do it and do not make excuses. Your children are worth every hour you spend with them. It will be the biggest and most rewarding investment of your life. You just don’t want to lose them to the ‘bad people’ who are always on the lookout for the main victims. I have two nephews ‘resting in peace’ in the cemetery due to drug and gang related issues; another has been in jail most of his life for selling drugs; and I have one more nephew lost to drugs and homeless. He spent almost thirty years in a Los Angeles jail, until he was released at the end of 2008.
8) Befriend your children, but keep the line of respect on both sides. First you are his father and second his friend.
9) Never give up on your children; not when they are young, or when they reach adulthood. Your children will always need you. Even if you get divorced, you are not divorcing your children. They are still yours, just as much as your spouse’s.
10) Avoid becoming a mediocre parent. There is no middle ground here when it comes to parents. You are a good father or an excellent one. Be cool because it’s just as easy!
11) Teach your children to be responsible people at an early age. If they are ever tempted by ‘nasty elements’ that may come their way, they will think and ask themselves this question: “How would my mom and dad feel if I did this?” You want her conscience to be her best friend, and yours too.
12) Instill in their children the sense of religion. Don’t let your spouse handle it. If one of you is not into the religion, then the other parent should take the helm and introduce you to God from a young age. You have to do everything you can under the stars to keep your kids away from drugs at school; and, away from those “nuisance kids” who want to hang out and influence them in the wrong direction, oftentimes with fatal results.
Your children will adapt their lives to yours, whether your personality is gentle and kind, or mean and aggressive. They will emulate the best and worst of you. Make the most outstanding parts of you valuable assets, so they can take those assets with them and become excellent parents themselves.
Make parenting an art like I did, instead of an obligation and a chore. Be the best father to your children and you will have planted the seeds of a productive citizen and a wonderful person who will make you proud. You will never regret participating in their growing years. If you must sacrifice time and money to help them when they need it, do so and thank them for coming to you. It is a blessing to give time, effort and financial help to your children. Remember, someday when you are alone, you will always thank them for their kindness when they come and attend to your needs.
An accomplished son or daughter who is drug free is the reward a parent can look forward to. It all starts the moment your child is born, and not fifteen years later. Being a parent is a full-time job for you and your spouse. Lead your children on the right path and you will have earned their respect forever. When all is said and done, and you find yourself embracing your life, you won’t look back with regret, but rather with a smile at a job well done!
Tony McCleary