5 surefire ways to feel better in tough times
As much as we hear that a spiritual evolution is coming, in many ways we still live in a very physical, depressed and dirty world. It can feel like you’re competing in a 10K with an injured leg. Whether you’re kissing your boss or negotiating with your creditors, this is simply not the life you envisioned for yourself. The truth is that when people tell you how good life is, sometimes you just want to slap them.
You understand the concept of having a positive attitude, you are not a jerk. But the reality is that you have another mortgage payment due and there is not enough money in the bank. Okay, let’s all agree, this sucks. You have people counting on you: your wife, your son, your ex-wife, your dog, your IRS agent, your mom, etc., etc.
Now that we’re on the same page (facing the reality that life isn’t fair), what can you do about it? Here are five practical things you can do to ease the pain:
1. Write. If you’ve never put on the clothes to put your thoughts on paper, start now. Keep a notebook and pen by your nightstand, by your coffee pot, in your bathroom, on your kitchen counter, and on your coffee table. When you have a predominant feeling, write it down. Angry? Write it. You feel sad? Write it. Feeling anxious? Write it. What were you thinking when this feeling arose? What part of your body did it come from? What makes you want to do? Write it.
2. Visualize. Let’s say you just thought about how his ex-wife yelled at him two days ago (in front of her son). Okay, you have the image of him in your mind, and your son is there by your side, wincing as a sign of father, such a son. Change the face of your ex wife. Put Santa’s face in his place. He got the white beard, the big ruby cheeks, the bright red hat with the puffy ball, the whole shebang. Instead of the sweet raspy voice of his ex, you hear Santa cheerfully asking you and his child what would make you happy. Santa says, “Whatever, you got it!” Cut to you and your boy, excited with anticipation.
3. Breathe. Once you have moved into a happy state of mind, breathe. Take three or four deep breaths. Concentrate that you are breathing and your belly rises. Exhale, concentrating on letting your body decompress. Allow your breath to come to a normal and even place so that you feel balanced. Notice an energy moving from within you and experience the sensation it brings.
4. Meditate. Allow whatever thought you have to be there. If Santa is still there, that’s great. If your ex-wife reappeared, so be it. Don’t judge the flashes of intermittent thoughts, just watch them as if you were in the stands at a football game. Know that you have no control over what happens on the field in front of you. He begins to see that there are really no good or bad actions, just different ones. Enjoy the variety and contrast – it makes for a fun game.
5. Practice this new perspective in the real world. Right now your eyes are open and there is no Santa or ex-wife in front of you. Your thoughts still drift in and out of your awareness, but you don’t feel controlled by them. Your problems have not disappeared but you start to look at them in a new way. You do not allow yourself to become emotionally reactive to events that occur. He approaches his problems objectively, like a surgeon removing cancerous matter from an open body. His dispassionate approach allows his mind to be free from unnecessary and dismissive thoughts and emotions. Through this clear lens, problems become challenges and challenges become opportunities to learn. When a so-called problem arises, you welcome it. Wisdom is one step closer.
The steps listed above may seem a bit simplistic. They are in a way, but what makes them challenging is that they have to be done consistently, every day, all day long. There are no easy answers or quick fixes to dealing with chaotic events. An easier life is open to those who possess wisdom and patience; it is good that you have been created with these wonderful qualities. Remember that you are made of divine energy, pure source, our inner source. All you have to do is be open and let it flow.
Copyright 2011, Avenstar Productions