a dilemma
So I’ve been thinking there’s a lot of irony in this whole “work at home job” thing. I know there are those who want to work from home because they hate office politics or because they don’t like driving to work or because their spouse wants them to eat dinner at the table and rub their feet when they get home. But I think there is a vast majority who want to work from home to be there with their child or children.
Personally, I/we have made a commitment to stay home with our daughter through thick and thin (or bankruptcy). We strongly believe that it is in her best interest to have me home, not only because we believe that it is the right thing for her personally, but because we feel there are greater impacts. Without being too controversial, I’d say that the decision to stay home with her son has even bigger social implications. A parent who stays at home with a child for at least the first year or two of the child’s life can be a source of stability and example. These early years form the ENTIRE life of a child and therefore its impact on society as a whole. I would venture to say that I think governments should provide a stipend to parents who stay at home with their children because, in most cases, these children become more balanced, less confused and more stable adults. These parents are providing a service to the Universe.
And, as a qualification, of course I understand that there are parents and caregivers who just can’t stay home with their child or children. Sometimes there are cases where this just isn’t feasible financially or for whatever reason, it just can’t happen. This is understandable and I honestly have no idea how we got this far without the ground collapsing beneath us. But somehow it has happened.
So, let’s go to the irony…
The irony is that in the midst of all these grand intentions, sometimes while searching for a job at home, the child falls by the wayside. I don’t want to say that I forget about the girl or that she is in a corner eating paper while I close myself on the computer looking at job offers. I just want to say that sometimes I get so obsessed with filling out applications or browsing forums, trying to find a suitable position (or ANY position), that I forget that she is playing at my feet. The goal of being at home with her is that I can BE with her; enjoy it; explore with her. And here I am, grinding my teeth down to my gums and breaking out in hives (again) just so I can find something that will allow me to be here with her. I just can’t allow myself to enjoy the fact that I’M HERE with her!
Ug. When am I going to get it?