Are there good reasons to stay friends with your ex?

A breakup is always a difficult time. Both parties are often at very different stages of preparation; one may have been waiting years for the right time to leave, while the other may have felt that things were relatively good, maintaining the mentality, ‘the devil better know!’

relationship counseling it may have been a valuable way of managing the negative emotions experienced during the relationship breakup. It can help to understand the points of view of others, even when the relationship is irretrievable. However, choosing not to continue living together doesn’t mean there aren’t good reasons to remain friends with your ex, especially if you’ve both learned to be more respectful of each other’s views.

Lots of practical stuff they can further exacerbate the situation as they require consideration and can influence decision-making. There is a great list; where to live, the financial implications, the custody of the family pets, the dispersal of assets, how to manage the various relationships with family and friends, as well as the serious matter of children, their custody, education and the impact that a divorce in their lives.

Some people say that divorce makes them feel like a failure; They never imagined that their relationship would end this way. They may feel partly guilty or that they are letting their children, family and friends down.

Then, a period of reflection often follows. where we consider the many devastating things that have been said and done. We often downplay or even forget the role we play in those heated exchanges. But eventually we come to terms with the pain and the rawness and things can begin to ease and subsidize.

There are often good reasons to stay friends with your ex, especially if children are a consideration. But there can also be other factors, such as shared connections of family, friends, history, and mutual interests.

With that in mind, what are good reasons to stay friends with your ex?

– Some couples may have started their relationship long before they completed their formal education. or they were in the early stages of building their career or business. At that age, people often don’t know what they want or expect from a long-term relationship. Over time they evolve and grow, sometimes becoming quite different people than they were then. Having these very personal early experiences together means that a unique perception and bond is formed that no one else will understand in the same way.

– Life may require adjustments to be made, such as perhaps quitting work to become a stay-at-home parent or juggling the responsibilities of becoming the primary breadwinner. This role change can bring its own stresses and introduce unexpected and ongoing strains and pressures into a relationship, as well as forcing priorities to shift significantly. Sometimes witnessing how others deal with times of transition can mean that even if we disagree, we can appreciate and understand their responses.

– Counseling can help improve communications providing a neutral, safe and supportive environment. Some people have even been known to reconcile as a result of improving their ability to listen, empathize, and communicate with each other.

– Learn from what went wrong it is an important part of the healing process. Personal counseling can be important to your individual recovery, where you accept responsibility for your role in the breakup and learn ways to avoid repeating negative and unhelpful patterns in future relationships. You can also become more tolerant, understanding, and patient with your ex’s attitude and decisions.

– It is important not to forget that your ex probably knows you better than anyone. Throughout their relationship, they have discussed their hopes, dreams, fears, issues, day-to-day concerns, and at one point enthusiastically supported each other. They used to love each other, laugh together, share their secrets, be part of a team; you planned to be together forever. When a breakup happens, it spells the end of that day-to-day intimate connection, but your shared history can provide good reasons to stay friends with your ex, even if you’re no longer lovers.

– And, in fact, some couples get along better after divorce.. Once removed from the arguments, annoyances, and irritations of everyday life, you can become two separate, independent people who actually quite like each other and have a lot in common. Some people even find that they rediscover their original attraction once the pressure of living together has been relieved. It may also be that sharing mutual friends, family ties, work-related interests, as well as your personal perspective, provides a powerful magnet.

After addressing and understanding the underlying causes of the split it may be possible to start over and build a stronger relationship than before. However, it is important to take the time to reflect, discuss and address what went wrong. There is no benefit in going back to a previous relationship out of habit, loneliness, financial concerns, or health problems. Maintaining a toxic or unhappy relationship out of fear or perceived need ultimately serves no one.

Time apart can allow both of you to become independent and sure of what is right for you, what you do and do not need from a relationship. Some people say that when a relationship is over, it’s over, you can’t and shouldn’t go back. Others say that having gained valuable information about yourself and others there may be good reasons to remain friends with your ex, but now on an updated basis, more relevant to today.