Be prepared when small children are part of the wedding
Is there anything more adorable than a ring bearer or flower girl? Little miniatures dressed in tuxedos, top hats, tails, long dresses, lace and ruffles. It is a mixture of innocence and purity in the adult outfits that only add to the charm of the children at the wedding.
However, having small children at the wedding requires thought and preparation. Obviously, a bride does not want to be responsible for the children on her wedding day, so it is important to delegate. Pick someone to make sure the kids are comfortable, fed, hydrated, and of course, clean.
Whether the temperature rises or falls, when dealing with children you have to be careful. It’s simple, use common sense. If it’s eighty-five degrees outside, how comfortable do you think a layering suit is? Often the groom and groomsmen are standing without their coats due to the heat, while next to them is the ring bearer in his coat, beet red and sweaty. Remember, when a child is repeatedly told to keep clean and to stop playing with this or that item of clothing, it is likely that they will not remove their coat until told it is okay.
Similarly, your flower girl shouldn’t have to freeze when it’s cold because you want everyone to see her as a princess. Have a coat or sweater for the child when she is cold. It’s one thing to have to take your coat off for a few minutes while the pictures are being taken. It’s quite another to shiver on the sidelines waiting and then waiting for him to sit still and smile for photos.
Here are some tips that will make your wedding kid-friendly.
Water – Have water readily available. Children dehydrate much faster than adults and adolescents. Fruit juices and sodas are not a good idea. Both juice and soda will stain or at least leave an unsightly stain if spilled, and they’re loaded with sugar, too.
Sunscreen: A child’s skin is very sensitive and burns easily, much faster than an adult’s. Sunscreen should be used whenever children are in the sun, especially when the wedding is on a beach or in an area that does not have shady areas.
The best sunscreen for kids is made with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide, look for one of those ingredients on the label. The SPF should be 30, a lower SPF is not enough, and a higher SPF does not increase protection. Avoid buying sunscreens that contain nut-derived oil that could cause a severe allergic reaction. Don’t be fooled by the labels, there is little to no difference between regular sunscreen and sunscreen marketed for kids, other than the higher price.
Clothes – Extra clothes are always good. Bring an extra change of clothing, including socks, diapers, or underpants. If the wedding is in the evening and the child will be up after their normal bedtime, bring pajamas and change them before you leave the reception. Chances are they’ll be asleep before you get home and you can take them straight to bed.
Clothing that works well for the ring bearer at the reception or between photos and the ceremony might be a pair of black shorts, a short-sleeved white shirt, a bow tie, and sandals.
To give the shorts a formal look, sew a strip of black satin ribbon to the outside of each short leg. The stripe will mimic the look of tuxedo pants.
Flower girls don’t have such a hard time when it’s hot because they don’t have to wear layers Face it, girls love the swish of the dress and the rustle of the petticoat. They like the ribbons and bows and the flowers that sometimes adorn their hair. They are delighted when they twirl and twirl making their dresses stand out around them.
When you ask a child to walk down the aisle in front of people they don’t know, be prepared for them to back away at the last second. It’s scary! Never stress too much about the importance of what they are doing, it will most likely backfire.
Telling a very young child to go to someone they know at the wedding party has a better success rate than threats or anger. What a child does or doesn’t do has little to do with the overall flow of the wedding, after all, they are minor players, no pun intended. The bride is the protagonist of this production.
Food – Please feed the children. It is common for the pictures to start at eleven in the morning when the wedding is at two. Divide that up and a child who has had a light breakfast goes several hours without eating. Any mother can tell you that a hungry child is not a happy child. Be sure to have low-sugar snacks or packed lunches on hand. You will find the youngsters much more cooperative, attentive and well behaved when they have eaten.
One last piece of advice, be careful what you say when you are with children. A five-year-old boy came up to me after a wedding and said, “This is the smallest wedding my mom has ever had.”
While another told me “Thank you for marrying my mommy. My grandmother just got tired of hanging around.” Children are not good at picking out a joke or sarcasm. What a child hears, he takes literally.
Several years ago a good friend of mine married a wonderful man who happens to be very wealthy. At the rehearsal dinner, someone made a joke and she laughed and replied, “Oh yeah, now I’m in the money.” to which her boyfriend added: “I’m throwing away all her checkbooks.” It was all very innocent. However, the next day at the wedding, his son, who was five years old at the time, told the groom’s grandfather when asked what he thought of his new stepdad: “Good. We’re in the money now and Mommy’s pulling all coupons.
Children are wonderful, we just have to remember to be prepared.