Earning grandparents’ rights
Don’t look at the United States Constitution, there are no grandparents’ rights clauses. You can look up the laws in your state, but what you’ll find is that every state has some semblance of a grandparents’ rights law; however, each state law is different, they are not deeply rooted in the previous ones, and the burden of proof falls squarely on the shoulders of the grandparents. The Supreme Court ruled in June 2000, Troxel v. Granville Washington State, that in an effort to preserve the best interests of the child, as well as the rights of the parents (protected by Constitutional Amendments 1, 5, 9, and 14), grandparents must show that the grandchild will be harmed by no visits by grandpa. This is a truly high legal bar to overcome. Things are further complicated by the fact that the laws that apply in most cases are the laws of the state in which the grandchild resides. One more bombshell is that if the grandchild is adopted, in most cases, the grandparents’ rights are terminated. Wow, what a bummer!
To do? I refer to the title of this article.
If you are looking for a silver bullet or collateral, you will need to take a strong magnifying glass and read the words engraved on the back at the base of a Unicorn’s horn. There is no easy solution to grandparents’ rights for many reasons. When trying to guess a workable solution to this problem, I listen to a logic lesson from college to illustrate how complex this answer is. It’s called the IF/THEN syllogism: IF life is complicated (and it is) and family is complicated (and it is exponentially so) THEN family life is very, very complicated. Now try to write laws that fairly cover all the circumstances for three generations in a family in today’s society.
Please don’t make the mistake of thinking that I am taking a very serious matter lightly. No problem. I just want to set the stage in the reality of the moment when it comes to this issue of grandparents’ rights, which is very near and dear to this proud grandfather of six wonderful grandchildren. I wish I had a message of justice and simplicity, but wishing doesn’t make it so.
When I started studying this topic a couple of years ago, I recognize it from a purely egotistical point of view. As I have immersed myself in legal briefs, case studies, reports from grandparents’ organizations, legislative actions, and real-life stories of grandparents struggling to hold on to a relationship with their grandchildren, I have been overwhelmed with sadness, outrage , hope, admiration, gratitude and enlightenment.
As a result, I have come to the conclusion that the answer is simple (the best interests of the child is paramount), but it is anything but easy. The answer cannot be legislated but must be protected by every word of the law. The answer will not be the product of one person’s thinking. The best interests of the child must be the product of all those involved. The best interests of the child will require cooperation, not division at a very difficult time for the family unit.
The grandchild’s best interest will sometimes require grandparents to suspend judgment, withhold opinionated comments, support the parents’ wishes with which they may not agree, and be there for their grandchild with all their might. I remember a question asked by a friend who was older and wiser than me. He asked me, “How much are you willing to pay to be right?” Keep that in mind every moment when it comes to your grandchildren and their parents. Do everything in your power in cooperation with the parents to facilitate the best interest of your grandchildren and you will have a much better chance at your grandparents rights. There you have it, the answer to “What to do”. Be a loving grandparent with your grandchild’s best interest always front and center.