Emotional incompetence is permeating our culture

As amazing as it is to say it, people no longer know how to express what they feel. I am both amazed and discouraged by the relentless emotional incompetence I see everywhere I look; And although I see this in my personal life, as a professional in the area of ​​human development I see it even more; people who demonstrate through everyday encounters the inability to effectively communicate what they think and feel, thus eliminating the possibility of connecting with others, especially emotionally. I hear empty communication of almost everything except intellectual exchanges, which without emotion tends to sound superficial. I can’t help but wonder, “Where has everyone’s heart gone?”

This question is very important to me. I have been watching the decline of emotional connection for years, ever since my own heart came out of hiding. The 1990s were booming with a new awareness of books like “The Celestine Prophecy” and “Conversations with God” among others and caused quite a stir of awakening, but as the new awareness continued it became clearer that although increased intellectual capacity. The talk did not facilitate the opening of hearts as expected. I greatly valued the 1990s because they did much to open my heart, but when I tried to share this new phenomenon I was met with intellectual commentary and a lack of reciprocity. I was confused. Here I finally had the courage to face the fear that had been keeping my own heart closed and I had the long-awaited ability to connect with the hearts of others, and I thought, “What a wonderful thing and wouldn’t others be happy to see it?” ?but was surprised to find not just a lack of reciprocity but a visible invalidation. Needless to say, he was confused. My confusion came first from thinking, “isn’t this what everyone has been writing and preaching about for ages?” last ten years?”; and second, “why are people walking away from me for demonstrating the same thing that was advertised in the self-help books, which is incessantly talked about and encouraged to learn how to do?”

When I asked some I knew who were updating this consciousness, the way I was beginning to do, they brought a new phrase into my consciousness called “leading by example,” which meant simply that “updating” (living) the wisdom of knowledge. . They explained that although the knowledge gained was invaluable, many people did not know how or were not prepared to integrate it into their real lives. I asked further why they thought some of us were capable of it and they continued with “it takes courage and conviction, and becoming truly aware separates you from all those who are not, who do not yet have the will or ability to see.” truth, and they will unconsciously feel threatened by those who defy their continued denial.” He was stunned.

I had to sit with it for a while. I began to contemplate and see what she was doing that was so different from the others? I found the answer in “I want it with all my heart”, and I had a “whatever” attitude to find the conscious way of doing things, which meant constantly challenging and stepping out of my comfort zone. Over the years, many joined the actualization group, but by the late 1990s, many found themselves simply more intellectually aware, others benefited greatly by becoming more emotionally and spiritually connected, and the rest not much changed.

It doesn’t take a genius, while watching others closely, to see how terrified many are of their emotions; others just don’t seem to know how to be vulnerable. People are often too afraid to reveal that part of themselves that can lead to sarcasm, disapproval, embarrassment, anger, rejection, humiliation, etc. but they all have one thing in common, emotional pain. Too many people don’t know how to deal with emotional pain, so they just avoid it; but this avoidance has gone on for so long that it has now become an inability, an incompetence; and the more time passes unchecked, the worse things get.

We need our “hearts” in our human interactions. Look at what is happening around the world, starting with the violent actions of the “DEsensitized”; people who can walk right into a room and start shooting at random, without having the slightest concern for all the lives they are destroying or ending; people who are lining their own pockets at the expense of others losing everything, but who don’t seem to give it a second thought, IF they do it first; companies that no longer care about the customer, only about quantity and profit; and relationships that are suffering everywhere due to keeping our guard up and emotional intimacy OUT.

I understand very well the fear and the challenge of opening the heart. I had a lot of healing to do on mine before I could control that wariness and I have to admit it took longer than I thought it would, but I had a lot of bottled up emotions and since that time would have passed anyway, using it. I wisely recovered during it. I understand being afraid of the pain that can come from opening your heart, but even so, we must try harder to learn the HOW, because not doing so leaves us fragmented and incomplete. Fear is infinitely at the root of all this, but when we feel connected, fear dissolves and loses the power it once had over us. Faith is a great remedy; surrender to something bigger than yourself. The fear that our needs will not be met is a big problem no matter how you look at it; when needs are not met in the way intended or desired, fear can turn into panic, and panic, as we have seen all too often lately, can turn into danger.

Going through life, afraid of being yourself or of not being able to admit “when you don’t know something” for fear of judgment, disapproval or rejection from others is a prison. Feeling overwhelmed all the time by life sucking in painful repressed emotions that you don’t know how to handle or process, making you feel like the only way to keep breathing is to turn off all emotion is heartbreaking. I know it can take some horrifying and most deeply painful experiences (the proverbial bottoming out) for some people to make the effort to look at the wounds that hold their hearts immobilized; but why should we let that be the way when we don’t have to? We can fight for our hearts. Knowing that struggle personally, I understand how hard a struggle it can be for our hearts to be recognized and valued and can feel so exhausted from trying and failing that they get discouraged and give up, thus evolving into despair or DEsensitization; that is why we must help each other. We all benefit or we all suffer.

I know the stress we are all under trying to survive these days can make being in one’s emotions exhausting and overwhelming, but the fact is that to stop the dangerous acts of the DEsensitized there is no alternative but to learn how to do it. to create the safety to open our hearts and connect, or there will be more and more shootings and devastation to lives caused by those who live in emotionally numb bodies, who just don’t know how to care anymore. I refuse to accept the status quo of the emotionally disconnected. My heart had been fighting for its rightful place for 33 years until I took the courageous step to confront fear and regain control of my vulnerability, which I continually view as a strength and not a weakness, according to most; and I feel compelled to fight for the hearts of others until I convince them to fight for theirs. I cannot and will not stand by while others are being killed by those who have been disconnected from their hearts; and it is time for others to take this view and action as well.

We cannot deny the fact that technology has played a huge role in this, intentionally or not. It has taken the place of many of the things our hearts used to do. We used to communicate with our whole person; mind, emotion and spirit. We used to write handwritten letters and cards that had an immeasurable and dear touch, both emotionally and energetically, but technology now has us communicating with words on a mechanical screen or through some other tool, be it cell phone, i-pod, fax. , etc. . What else can happen to a strong muscle like the heart that doesn’t get used to it? He weakens, deteriorates and no longer knows what to do or how to do what is needed. If we choose to continue to ignore our hearts, the number one cause of death in our country, heart attacks, will increase exponentially. Think of that term, “heart attack”; What is attacking the heart? What is causing so much pressure on a heart that it can’t keep working? The most obvious, of course, is not to use it or to use it incorrectly. The second, abusing our body with other factors that are too much for it to process; fatty and sugary foods, alcohol and tobacco, lack of decompression after a stressful day, week, year or, LIFE! The heart like everything else requires balance. The balance of “words” is regularly observed but not much integrated. Granted, it is difficult to balance our individuality, family, work, spirituality and what not, but still it is what we must try to do to survive intact or the scales tipped to either side will cause everything to come crashing down.

Many justify their hour or two on a Sunday, to ground themselves with God/Spirit, as their heart quota and think that that short time will balance out the other 166 hours in the rest of their week, which is ridiculous; or say ten emotional words to loved ones and hope they “feel” loved. How can we really believe that we or our loved ones can feel any difference because of it? Where is the love in all this? How do we convey love these days, through words, a look or a touch? It doesn’t seem like much time is spent in love other than those few words or the physical act of sex to connect, which could explain the constant breakups and divorces. Many feel that those brief acts are all they can muster, but that’s catch 22; if you weren’t repressing so many old emotions, you would have more energy available for the present. Suppressed emotion is a great energy blocker; in other words, we don’t have our natural energy readily available because of the intense energy it takes to keep emotions buried. The emotion needed to connect with others can briefly run out in its own right, but if it is in the present, it follows a natural course to completion, followed by the recovery of our strength and full continuation. It is the “old” emotion that we are afraid to let go of. We have allowed it to accumulate for so long that we are afraid to remove the lid for fear of its volcanic eruption; but there are methods and tools to control how it is released. I am living proof of that. I suppressed a great deal of anger before feeling compelled to boldly remove the lid, and while some very important facts needed to be learned before doing so, it can definitely be done. Much like when an addict goes to a rehab clinic where they have a specific and safe process to undo the damage. Personal fear is not the only problem these days, however, people are also very scared by everything that is happening globally; but that’s just one more reason to connect our hearts; take care and strengthen our efforts as a united front, more now than ever since we have seen what the DEsensitized can and will do; Think about what the alternative will be if we don’t.