Has your ego been blocking your success?
One of the most difficult parts of a career change for lawyers is that it involves an identity change. We are talking about an emotional bond, not a business one. Remember the “You got mail” line when Tom Hanks says to Meg Ryan, “It’s not personal, it’s just business” and Meg Ryan says of course it’s personal to her. Her business is her, they are interchangeable! This is precisely why it is so difficult for lawyers to leave the legal profession.
No matter how much we know deep down that we really should do something else, it’s so scary to think of a completely different life. When we think of introducing ourselves as more than just a lawyer at a cocktail party, it is unfathomable! I know I hung my law degree high and proud when I left the law practice. I wanted everyone to know that I was really a lawyer, even if I was now a professional counselor too!
So how can you leave the law with this great obstacle in the way, this great obstacle, called your ego? Well, the first thing I teach is to distance yourself. It is very difficult to find a passion when you are immersed in the world of lawyers. The best thing to do is make new friends. Or if you have friends who are not lawyers, spend more time with them.
You may be disconnecting your instinct. If you allow yourself to open up and be open to new ideas, opportunities will present themselves. In fact, they already come to you but you don’t see them because you are not open to them. “Follow your gut” is a skill that all people possess, but it is similar to a muscle that needs to be exercised or it will atrophy! This muscle may be a little flabby and needs to be exercised.
Your task is to practice following your instincts on the little things in your life, including what to wear, where to eat, what invitations to respond to (yes and no), etc. Don’t think, just decide and move on. Scott, my husband says, “STRIKE AND MOVE!” No more “analysis paralysis” (or at least no more in your personal life).
Enroll in a class or pursue an interest that is not at all related to the practice of law, but has been of interest to you for a long time. Even if it’s not something you can make a living from, go ahead and sign up! Most of the time, lawyers spend so much energy building this image that we know everything and have perfect control of every area of our life. This is in part because the cost of hiring an attorney is quite high, and we simply cannot let our clients know that we have insecurities or that we might have to look for something (God forbid). But the unintended result of this behavior is that we lose touch with our instincts and put an enormous amount of weight on the title of “lawyer,” and we are particularly bad at being “new” or asking for help.
This can be a major obstacle to leaving the law. That is, we are sure that to find a career that we are passionate about, we will first have to be rookies and that is so painful that we would rather dedicate ourselves to a career that is slowly killing us. But, by taking a class in something that you will definitely NOT be good at, you are exercising that muscle. In the process, you’ll learn that it’s not so bad to be new, it’s actually liberating to ask for help, it’s fun to be outside your comfort zone, and you can actually meet new people and have fun!
Bonus Credit: When you get there (to the class you’re taking or however you choose to accomplish homework), be open. You can’t just sit there with a negative attitude and think, “I’ve heard all of this before,” or “this works better,” or, “I’ve tried everything and this doesn’t work.” By acting and thinking like this, you are actually blocking yourself from working. What are you waiting for? Remember, your time is now! This is your turn to be happy, passionate, and live life to the fullest.
Live the race of your life!
Jennifer strong anoint