How Garlic Almost Ruined My Marriage

In the world of herbal medicine, garlic rules. It is said to lower blood pressure, promote healing, and reduce inflammation. Everyone is encouraged to consume more garlic, whether raw, cooked or in capsule form. Garlic, it seems, can work wonders within the human body. It can even repel insects when sprayed or growing among infected plants. That is magic.

It’s the power of garlic to repel that intrigues me. I remember being told by an experienced nature lover that if I ate garlic before going out into the forest, the insects would not bother me. I resisted the urge to ask if it worked the same way with bears. I love garlic and want to reap its many health benefits, but I can’t get over the fact that this wonderful herb stinks. Now I know that you are probably saying that its smell is subject to the disposition of whoever smells it. Some cultures love the smell of garlic, but ours doesn’t. Besides, when even aphids are repelled by the smell of garlic, doesn’t that tell you something?

I recently sat next to an obvious garlic lover in a small hospital waiting room. The smell of garlic emanated from every pore of his body making me want to be an aphid. He couldn’t escape the smell in such a small room. He was everywhere. I needed the blood work so I sat there trying not to breathe hoping that those in the room would know the smell was not coming from me.

I started taking garlic in capsule form in the early 1980s, having heard of its many benefits and wanted to make sure I was harvesting as much of it as possible by the time I reached middle age. Taking capsules would surely eliminate any chance of me smelling like Garth Garlic. The aroma would be non-existent if the capsule was swallowed whole. It is not like this?

Everything went well for the first few days. My wife had no idea I was taking garlic until one night we were both reading in bed. I suddenly felt the need to express myself gastrically, and I did so quietly and without fanfare. As the unmistakable smell of garlic filled the bedroom, my wife stopped reading, sniffed discerningly, and uttered in a loud, rather disgusted tone, “My God, Mike, you’re on garlic.”

You’d think she would support my efforts to maintain and promote optimal health. Wouldn’t she, too, benefit from having a healthy husband who lived a long, healthy, if not completely odor-free life? The word gratitude never left her lips. Shortly after this episode I discovered odorless garlic capsules and my health and our marriage were saved. Garlic Rules!

You have to laugh!