Men entangled by the mother: Why do some men feel guilty when they are in a relationship?

If a man is ending up in an intimate relationship, he may be quite comfortable. Perhaps you are with someone with whom you have a good connection and are physically attracted to.

Then there will be no reason for him to keep this area of ​​his life to himself, and he will be happy to tell other people about the woman he is with. Along with this, you will feel comfortable having her around when you are with friends and family.

Part of life

In the end, you will have a relationship with someone, which is a normal part of life. Therefore, there will be no reason for you to hide this part of your life or make sure that certain people are not present when your partner is around.

Now this does not mean that they will always be together; they’re both going to be individuals, after all. There will be the needs that he has and there will be the needs that she has.

The most important voice

If one of your friends or family had a problem with the woman you are with, you may be happy to hear what they have to say. This will give the other person a chance to express their concerns and to reflect on what has been said.

Still, even if one of her friends or family had a problem with her, that doesn’t mean she would just end the relationship. He will be a man, not a boy, which means he will make his own decisions.

Clever

What this will likely show is that this man is emotionally available, and this is why he may have an intimate relationship. To get to this point, you may have had to work with a fair amount of luggage.

He may have had at least one previous relationship that had a great effect on him and that he needed to cry. Doing this work will have allowed you to open up the growth and healing that can come from being in a relationship.

Another experience

However, although there will be men who can relate to the previous experience, there will be others who cannot. Consequently, they will end up feeling uncomfortable when in a relationship.

At the same time, this could be an understatement; This could be something that makes you feel emotionally overwhelmed. Something that should have a positive effect on them, then it will have a negative effect.

A closer look

If a man is able to connect and describe what is happening to him on an emotional level, he may find that he is experiencing a great deal of guilt and shame, and may even feel trapped. Because of how you feel, you may conclude that you are doing something wrong.

So what you could do is either end the relationship or gradually move away from the woman you are with. However, even if she decides to stay, the woman will most likely realize that something is not right.

Change

The man will still be there, but what the woman may feel is that he is no longer as present as he used to be. If the change is instantaneous and not gradual, you may begin to wonder what has happened to the man you were with before.

It is possible that her entire disposition has changed, or that it changes gradually as time passes, which could make her believe that she has done something wrong. It could be as if your partner is there but, for some reason, it is no longer available.

An abrupt end

If the relationship ends more or less as soon as the man experiences these feelings, it is normal for the woman to feel responsible. This may show that the man ended the relationship to end how he was feeling.

If, on the other hand, you didn’t immediately leave the relationship and simply closed it, you may have tried to fight your emotions. The downside is that by doing this, you would have lost a large part of yourself in the process.

What’s going on?

What this can show is that the man is emotionally attached to his mother, although not in the healthy sense of having a good connection with her; but in the unhealthy sense of being entangled with her. It may be a man who, deep down, feels like an extension of his mother.

Therefore, being so attached to your mother, it will feel like you are betraying her by being with another woman. Then he will look like a man on the outside, but he will feel like an undeveloped child on the inside.

At first

During his early years, his mother probably would not have respected his limits or met his needs. Instead, it was highly likely that she would walk on it and use it to satisfy her needs.

His father would not have been present or, if he had been, he most likely would not have been emotionally available. Because the father was not emotionally available and the mother probably had problems of her own (one of her parents could have used her in the same way), she would have used her son as a replacement.

Another form of abuse

Growing up, it might have seemed like he was his mother’s “special” child or even a mother’s child, and treated well. In reality, it was likely that his mother was not emotionally developed and used it to meet her needs, leading her to neglect her son.

As a child, the man would have had to disconnect from his aggression and his sexual aspect; the two elements that would have allowed him to individualize. Add in the fact that your development needs weren’t met, and it’s no wonder you’re in an underdeveloped state.

Conscience

One approach that could be proposed here is for the man to simply change his behavior, but this is unlikely to solve anything. This can result in the man letting go of a false self, only to be replaced by another.

There is a great possibility that the man is enduring a lot of emotional pain, and much of this pain is caused by all the needs that were not met when he was a small child. One of the most important things to do is bemoan your unmet childhood needs.

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This is something that can happen with the help of a therapist or healer.