moving your career "For the family"

You have a wonderful job, a nice place to live, and lots of friends. But you realize that you miss your family, who lives five hundred miles away. Maybe you just retired and want to be closer to your elderly parents. Or you want to see your grandchildren grow up. Or you want to get closer to your siblings and old friends.

Should you move? Here are some questions to help you gain insight as you wrestle with a difficult decision.

(1) Are you moving from a sense of excitement and hope, or from a nagging sense of obligation?

From time to time, I get calls from clients who say, “I moved to be close to my beloved friends and family. And once I got here, I realized they didn’t need me. In fact, they liked it better when we lived further apart.” “. How can I get my old career and my old life back?

(2) How will the family dynamics change once you are fifteen minutes away instead of 500 miles?

You will often grow closer and find new sources of strength and inspiration. But sometimes a retiree becomes a 24-hour babysitter. A busy freelancer is expected to participate in time-consuming family rituals. And more.

(3) What is your family like today, not one, five or ten years ago?

You move to spend time together. But do you know each other? Do you still have a lot in common?

If you haven’t been in the same city for a while, expect surprises. Couch potatos become fitness freaks. Couch addicts discover the public library and bookstore. Even a change in movie preferences can affect the quality of a relationship.

Eight years ago I was not interested in basketball or dogs. Needless to say, I get into some very interesting conversations with someone I haven’t seen since 1998.

(4) Will you enjoy your new city on your own?

Even with a close family, you will need your own life. Will your new community support opportunities to grow and change? The best resource (in my biased opinion):

http://www.cathygoodwin.com/bigmove.html

(5) Can you find professional satisfaction?

About a third of my Power Hour calls focus on long-distance job hunting, for good reason. You have to walk a fine line between showing potential employers that you’re motivated to move and sounding so eager that you’ll take as much as you can.

I typically refer clients with complex family questions to a dedicated professional. I urge everyone to understand the impact of career on the family. No one wants to spend five years living with resentment because “I gave up a wonderful career for you.” A family counselor will help you solve these problems.

There are reasons for optimism. With careful planning, my clients often find creative ways to enjoy family and maintain fulfilling careers as well.