My husband says he didn’t stop the affair because the other woman was blackmailing him.

Sometimes I hear from wives that they just don’t buy their husband’s excuses regarding their affair. A common complaint is that husbands have a lame excuse for why the affair lasted so long. Often times, your excuse doesn’t even sound plausible.

I heard from a wife who said, “I found out two weeks ago that my husband has been cheating on me with a woman who works at the grocery store where we shop. Initially he tried to tell me it only lasted a couple of weeks, but I got his phone records and obviously it lasted much longer than that. In fact, it lasted for months. So when I confronted my husband about this and asked him why he would stay in a relationship that he claimed meant nothing to him, he would say he was just staying in the relationship because every time that he was trying to break it up, the other woman was telling him that he was going to tell me everything next time I was in the store. the relationship because he didn’t want me to find out. Is this possible? Because this sounds like such a fake excuse for And even if it’s true, if he wasn’t getting something out of the relationship, I can’t imagine him staying even if he knew I had found out.

You’d actually be surprised how many cheating spouses never imagine their spouse finding out about the affair. Often, they don’t think rationally and don’t really think about the future. Many also have no intention of continuing the cheating relationship forever. So your discovery is usually not in your immediate thought process, silly as that sounds.

Many men claim that the other woman does several things to maintain the relationship: So the next question is: would a reasonably rational man allow the other woman to essentially blackmail him? I have to admit that this is not the first time I’ve heard of a situation like this. It’s not an unusual excuse. And I admit that several men have made comments on my blog describing how the other woman has tried a series of ploys to prevent him from finishing things.

Often, she will try a number of tactics such as making you feel guilty, or trying to tempt you into changing your mind, or trying to make you believe that she won’t demand anything of you. When things like this don’t work out and the husband is still trying to end the relationship, it would not be unusual for her to threaten to tell her wife. However, common sense would tell you that if she does this, her relationship will surely change. Because now they would both know that he is not there of his own free will, but he is only there out of fear. And frankly, I think this is going to get old pretty quickly. Who wants to continue in a long-term relationship when he knows he’s only there because he’s afraid of the consequences when he’s not?

Know that the truth will probably surface at some point: I think the heart of this whole conflict was the wife’s desire to know how serious this relationship really was. Many wives would rather see a short fling than a long term relationship if given the choice. Because the longer the relationship, the more emotional or physical connection it implies. But when the husband claims that the length of the affair should be denied because he was pressured into her staying, then the wife has to assess whether she’s going to buy this.

I know it may seem like you need to make a quick decision on whether or not you’re going to buy this. But frankly, you can often wait and just accept that the jury might still be out. Because, honestly, in the course of trying to rebuild her marriage, she will often gain a clearer picture of the truth, and this often comes gradually when her husband thinks she can tolerate the truth or when the precision begins to decrease. drain.

I know that you are inclined to worry about this, and I completely understand. But it may help you to know that most of the time, the truth doesn’t stay hidden forever. If what he’s telling you is true, chances are you’ll either see some evidence of the same thing at some point or he’ll keep that theme consistent. If not, it’s probably obvious to you.

What matters more than the nature of your relationship: I know you feel like you need the absolute truth because you need to know how much he cared for her. But what you also need to understand is that he often believes one thing when the adventure is active and changes his mind once he isn’t. Even though things are exciting and he’s right in the middle of carrying them out, he may be feeling engaged and the sense of excitement from him is actually fueling him.

But once the matter comes to light, it’s almost as if a balloon is deflated. The accumulation is disappointed and the excitement fades. And it may suddenly become clear to him that she wasn’t so special after all. This could be what her husband is dealing with right now. It is possible that now she realizes how much of a mistake this relationship was and now she is trying to do everything possible to diminish it in the eyes of both of them.

Do I agree with your statement that he only stayed with the other woman due to blackmail or a threat to expose the matter? Not really. And if this were true, he didn’t have a lot of control during this whole process, but that’s true of a lot of men. And frankly, it’s all too common for a man to say anything necessary to downplay the relationship, especially when he’d rather it never happen when, sadly, he can’t take it back.

As frustrating as it is, sometimes you have to ask yourself if you want to stop in a relationship that ended or if you want to make sure it ends and then decide if you want to move on. Because the truth is that people’s feelings and emotions often change drastically during an affair. What you felt a few weeks ago may seem very strange and embarrassing to you right now.