My husband thinks I’m cheating on him with his friend because his friend is attracted to me
Sometimes I hear from people whose spouse is sure they are cheating when they are not. Sometimes the spouse thinks that he has seen or “got” something, when in fact what he is seeing is a misunderstanding. However, it can be difficult to explain this or to make your spouse believe that nothing inappropriate has happened.
Here is an example. A wife might say, “Something so horrible happened last week. And I’m afraid it’s going to ruin my marriage. But honestly, I haven’t done anything wrong. My husband wasn’t home. He’s the best friend a man has ever known.” his whole life. This guy was his next-door neighbor growing up. Needless to say, this guy is always in our house. He’ll come in and help himself to whatever’s in the fridge. I’ve always considered him a friend too. From anyway he came and my husband wasn’t home I expected him to leave but he said he wanted my husband to lend him a tool and he knew where the tool was in the house I let him in and then he proceeded to tell me he had something I had to confess. He told me that he had always had romantic feelings for me that I couldn’t deny anymore. Then he kissed me. I was so stunned. I turned my face away and I definitely did. I didn’t kiss him back. I told him I thought it would be a good idea He kept talking about how he couldn’t stop thinking about me. After he left, I thought he must have been drinking. I’ve been alone with him countless times and nothing like this has ever happened to me. I debated for a long time whether to tell my husband. I decided against it for a couple of reasons. First, this man means a lot to my husband. It’s like a brother to him. I didn’t want to cause my husband the pain of knowing that this guy was ready to betray him. Second, he left when I asked him to and I honestly believe he was drunk and he was not in full control of his actions. So I decided that since nothing happened, I shouldn’t say anything and hope it never happens again. The problem is that the other guy told my husband. But he left out the part about me basically asking him to leave. He apologized to my husband, but he told him that he was in love with me. Now, my husband thinks that there is something between the friend and me. there is nothing happened. I cheated on my husband when we were dating over a decade ago. But I have never cheated on him since we got married. And he never would. But he’s acting like I did. I don’t know what to do. But it hurts me that he takes this on me.”
I understand why you are hurt. You’re being punished for a crime you didn’t even commit. But chances are you’ll still be grounded for the previous cheating episode, even if it was a long time ago.
Do you remember how you said you didn’t tell your husband because you knew how hurt he was going to be? Well, you’re seeing that pain now. And that’s why he’s acting like he’s doing. I’m not saying he’s right. But his emotions are running away from him because he is very hurt to think that this man, who is like a brother to him, will try to cheat on his wife. I don’t know if not telling him about the pass was the right decision or not. You meant well, but he’s probably wondering why you kept it from him if you didn’t do anything wrong or nothing happened.
However, in the coming days and weeks, I might think about this a bit more. He may start to wonder when you would have betrayed him. He might start looking at the calendar or checking emails or text messages and realize that there has been no communication between the two of you, except when engaging with him. And it is quite possible that the other man, who does not want to lose her husband’s friendship, will be honest and tell her husband that nothing really happened and that every inappropriate action was his and his alone.
This can happen without you having to do anything. And her husband may realize her mistake and apologize to you. If this doesn’t happen, he would calmly continue repeating the same true story. And I was wondering if the relationship really healed from the previous episode of cheating. If it wasn’t, then it would make sense for her husband to expect the worst now. It’s never too late to finally address previous cheating if she’s swept it under the rug. It is better to finally heal that wound than to let it continue to fester.