New Book Shows Incredible Benefits of Listening in Business and Personal Life
How Much Does It Cost You Not to Listen?: The Power of Understanding to Connect, Influence, Solve, and Sell by Christine Miles is a true tour-de-force that puts listening first as the true secret to successful relationships in all life aspects. Christine provides examples of how listening to customers can help salespeople, how listening can repair relationships, and how listening can bring people together in amazing ways. Filled with practical steps and colorful stories that model listening, this book may well be the one every company and person needs to improve their relationships.
Of course, we’ve all heard of the value of listening, but unfortunately, most of us don’t listen well. We often end up in conflict or confusion as a result. However, as Christine points out, this isn’t really our fault because no one has taught us to listen. She even cites sources that show that we train ourselves more to speak than to listen. In fact, only 2 percent of people have ever had any kind of listening training.
Christine is determined to change that. As a business consultant, executive coach, and radio talk show host, she teaches individuals and organizations how to listen. Often people pay lip service to listen but don’t really understand how to do it or its incredible value. Christine educates people on listening best practices, including how to get people to share more because you’re a good listener. Now in How much does it cost you not to listen? she shares her powerful yet simple techniques so you can start a true hearing revolution.
Throughout the book there are powerful quotes about listening that really drive home how important it is. For example, Christine quotes Jim George as saying, “Listening is an act of love. When you listen to people, you are communicating nonverbally that they are important to you.” Improving our relationships with others is a key benefit of listening, but Christine points to benefits for ourselves as well, stating, “I’ve found that the more I see others, the more I bear witness to their pain and ultimately understand them, the more I recover.” my own wounds and losses, cultivating both personal and business success.
The book is divided into three sections, detailing why listening is so important, how to listen differently, and a final section on what Christine calls the Listening Path™, which provides the tools you need to transform the way you listen. Each chapter contains exercises to allow the reader to practice what she has learned.
Perhaps what struck me most about this book is that learning to listen does not mean simply not speaking when others are talking or even rehearsing in our heads what we will say when the other person is done speaking, but following simple practices to make others people talk more and say the things that are really important. Christine encourages us to listen in a way that makes the speaker feel confident, secure, and willing to share with us. By doing so, we can learn about people’s backstories and get to the heart of what’s really important to them so that we can understand them, empathize with them, connect with them, and maybe even join with them in finding ways to heal our pain or work together. toward a common goal, such as improving a company’s profits, improving our work environment, or meeting the needs of our customers.
I was stunned and at the same time totally agreed with Christine when she pointed out that the cause of many problems is not listening. The solution to those problems is also to listen. While Christine shows how listening can help improve personal relationships and improve the workplace, I can see how she would have phenomenal results if used by our political and world leaders. Imagine the changes that would happen if members of Congress from both parties really listened to each other about their fears, worries, hopes, and dreams. Imagine if meetings between world leaders were not about stopping war or improving trade, but about really listening to each other’s views first. I hope world leaders read this book. I hope all members of Congress read it. I hope everyone in a school board or city council reads it. I hope the parents read it, and I hope your teens read it. It’s time for a global hearing revolution.
Of course, none of us can change the world by hoping alone, but we can change ourselves. We can start learning to listen better to improve our own relationships, and by doing so, we can create a ripple effect.
If I haven’t convinced you to read What’s It Costing You Not To Listen?, let me close with a few words directly from Christine: “What’s it costing you not to listen? Have you been through a breakup, divorce, been fired, haven’t You made a deal, you lost a client, you have children who are struggling, friendships that have been lost, children you’re not close with, a team that can’t get things done together…listening is a common thread running through both causing and resolving these issues. Have you ever wondered how your ability to listen affects your life? What have you lost? What are you about to lose? What are you missing without even knowing it?