Sibling rivalry causes depression in mother’s favorite son: study

Sibling rivalry has been around for as long as families and has been a concern for most parents. Although parents generally try to distribute their love equally among all their children, they feel differently about them depending on their personalities, different needs, provisions, and place in the family. Although they are known to be unbiased, they can sometimes favor a child they perceive to be similar to them, in terms of values ​​and beliefs. Studies have revealed that children who considered themselves closer to their mothers experienced less closeness to their siblings. Surprisingly, these children also reported higher depressive symptoms, especially when favored and cared for by their mothers.

Among other reasons, being the target of sibling rivalry and feeling obligated to your parents are two other important reasons that affect your mental well-being. The influence of siblings on each other can be enormous and this parental favoritism is associated with lower self-esteem and higher rates of anxiety and depression in the favored child.

What Causes Sibling Rivalry?

Studies suggest that children are very sensitive to the way their parents treat them. They can pick up on any kind of disparity and act to get attention. When a father shows more love and attention to his favorite son and cannot control problems between children, siblings and their relationships often suffer. The following reasons can be held responsible for conflicts between younger siblings:

• Position in the family: Depending on age and level of maturity, the older child may have the responsibilities of the younger children. Sometimes a younger child makes concerted efforts to keep up with the older sibling, even if it hurts his self-esteem or psychological well-being.
• Gender: In certain families, a son may hate his sister because parents are kinder to her, while a daughter may wish she could take trips outdoors more often like her brother.
• Age: With increasing age, siblings can become polar opposites in terms of behavior and habits.

Study about siblings in middle age

These feelings do not appear to diminish over time and can affect even the most affluent, leading to depression and anxiety in them. A study by researchers at Purdue University suggests that adults who believe they are their mother’s favorite child are at increased risk for depression and anxiety. For the study, the researchers analyzed data from 725 adults, with their mothers between the ages of 65 and 75, from 309 families. Starting in 2001, the study was carried out in two phases seven years apart.

The researchers focused on the children’s relationships with their mothers with greater emphasis on four dimensions of favoritism: emotional closeness, conflict, pride, and disappointment. Interestingly, the siblings continued to compare themselves well into middle age, and these constant evaluations and judgments were the root cause of their unhappiness. Children who were closer to their mothers were more likely to experience tension from their siblings and to feel a greater responsibility to care for their elderly mothers.

The findings shed light on the role of adult sibling relationships in middle age, by taking into account children’s perceptions of their mother’s favoritism.

“Adult children who reported being closer emotionally to their mothers also reported higher depressive symptoms,” the study found. “Depressive symptoms were also highest when respondents identified themselves as the children with whom their mothers had the most conflict and in whom the mothers were most disappointed,” he said.

The way to follow

Whatever the cause of anxiety or depression, it is treatable; the sooner the better. Psychotherapy can help with mild to moderate depression and anxiety disorders, as it works by understanding and changing the thoughts and behaviors that contribute to how your children feel. Most children generally cannot overcome their problem without professional help.

If your loved one is dealing with an anxiety disorder that requires medical intervention, contact one of the good anxiety treatment centers.