Strengthening the Marriage Bond: Developing Greater Intimacy in Your Marriage
Intimacy is part of the solid foundation on which a marriage is built. Over the time a relationship matures, the interactions and the type of connection we have change, and often intimacy is reduced to hugs and kisses and occasional intercourse. Let’s take a look at how we can reintroduce intimacy into our marriage.
What is intimacy?
Many people think of intimacy as passionate lovemaking, but it is so much more than that. Definitions vary and include words such as close acquaintance, familiarity, having mutual interests of affection, an established friendship, becoming involved in a sexual relationship, etc.
According to Wikipedia, an intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship and can be defined by these characteristics: enduring behavioral interdependence, repeated interactions, emotional attachment, and need satisfaction.
As shown?
Intimacy can be communicated with a look, with a touch, with words and without them. Couples have their individual language of intimate communication, which they develop in their relationship. What might be an intimate exchange for one couple might mean nothing to another. Physical intimacy is considered as romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity.
Why does it change?
Without intimacy it is more comparable to a friendship. Depending on the nature of how relationships develop, it is normal for there to be a lot of physical intimacy at first. Over time this lessens and a feeling of comfort and stability enters the relationship. Various reasons, such as sexual blocks or fears, career changes or job demands, starting a family, and meeting the needs of a growing family, can put intimacy on the back burner.
Reactivate your intimate bond
As with all the things you value in your life, you must first make them a conscious priority. Set the intention to focus on reactivating and reinvigorating your intimate connection with others. Start by communicating what is important to you, what you like and find out what it is for your partner. Even if you’ve been together for years, remember that we all grow and change.
Create and set specific times, for example, a date night once a week, where just the two of you spend time together. Organize something different every week, one week you, the next your partner. Create an intimate space in your home, for example, your bedroom, where you can organize everything that is not necessary. Make it your sacred space by adding anything that enhances a sense of intimacy, such as candles, incense, nice relaxing music, or cushions. Make sure it suits both you and your partner, so you may want to redecorate it together.
Take your time: This is not about rushing into something or making it ‘happen’. Leave any expectations outside the house and just enjoy the time together. Remember that even though you know your partner, developing greater intimacy is like exploring new territory: You don’t know what you’ll find, so be an interested, curious, understanding, and patient explorer. Above all, have fun!