The brotherhood of fatherhood
When I was a boy growing up in Baltimore City, I often wondered what it would be like for him to be a father. Somehow I always felt that he would make a good father, but I wasn’t sure how he would get there. For most of my childhood, I grew up in a single-family home with my mother. Our life during my childhood was good, but we often struggled because my mother worked very hard to make ends meet. I watched my mom work full time while she went to college and took care of me. As she continued to excel in her career, our quality of life improved. I really admired her for that, but I was still missing something.
My father was around while I was growing up, but not on a daily basis. In fact, there were long periods of time when I didn’t see my dad. When I had the opportunity to spend time with him, he taught me things, but they were usually more useful to me on the street. I mean, he taught me to be tough and stand up for myself. Those kinds of things were very helpful to me, but I also needed to be around other positive men who could collectively teach me what being a man and ultimately a great father is really all about. He needed and wanted to learn how to do that.
As I have grown into adulthood, I have learned that it takes more than just reaching a certain age or having the ability to reproduce to make someone a good parent. When I became a father, I realized that I was automatically inducted into an elite fraternity of brothers that easily surpasses any other fraternity anyone can be a part of in terms of level of prominence. I came to understand that God charged me with the obligation to be a teacher to my children.
Over the years, I have made many mistakes in dealing with my children. Not always everything has gone the way I wanted, as rarely does anything happen. I have learned that it takes a combination of several attributes that have helped me become a better parent. There are several characteristics that every parent should incorporate within himself that can help him to be the best possible parent that he can be. I have compiled a list of some of those features.
1. Every parent should be a model to follow for their children Many young people tend to look up to celebrities to model themselves after. Some of those celebrities accept that role and handle it quite well. On the other hand, I can’t count how many times athletes have shunned the responsibility of being a role model for kids. They don’t want that responsibility. There are others who seem to want the part, but aren’t fit to bring a five-year-old into a kindergarten classroom. Above any other group, it is the parent’s job to live the kind of life that any child would want to emulate.
2. Every parent should be a teacher. A father should instruct his children in all matters of life. That’s not to say that a parent should know everything. Nobody knows everything. The point is that the father must be involved in all aspects of the life of his children. He must be there to provide advice and guidance to help your children as they develop and progress in life. Parents certainly should be able to share the lessons he has learned during his life with their children that can have profound effects on them as well. In my opinion, besides a schoolteacher, no one else should pour into a child more than her parent.
3. Every parent should be a disciplinary since all children need discipline in their lives. Parents should be the catalyst for their children’s discipline so that the court system does not have to become that catalyst. Being a disciplinarian is about teaching children to obey the laws and follow the rules that are enforced through consequences. Developing a reverence for leadership must begin with the father. Done correctly, children will more often become law-abiding citizens with a healthy respect for authority in all areas of their lives.
4. Parents are supposed to be the main supplier for your children Economic situations are different for each one, but the effort to provide should not be solely of an economic nature, although it is very important. It is still only one aspect of the provision. Other aspects of childcare may include, but are not limited to, friendship, love, safety, emotional support, guidance, and life skills. This list of things could go on forever, but the point is that being an active parent can have a powerful and positive influence on our children’s development.
5. parents can be empathizers for your children We are a source of knowledge and information for our children. The experiences we have been through can help us pass on wisdom that will be invaluable to them. We are the ones who can most relate to our children. While there may be some variations in the situations young people face today, we can still have some level of understanding and even compassion for what they are going through. Sometimes our kids may not even need us to fix all their problems. Just being there to listen to them could do wonders for their esteem and give them a sense of support.
Being a parent is not easy for many reasons. There are so many things to deal with when it comes to raising children. It is even more difficult when the father and mother are not in the same household. However, being a parent is a great privilege that should not be taken lightly. Any man lucky enough to have children is automatically included in the fraternity of fatherhood and must purpose himself to live by the code of the fraternity. It is our responsibility to raise our children. If we relegate that responsibility to others, we are delinquent in our obligation to God, neglectful of our communities, and ultimately responsible for the outcome of any of our children who stray.
Parents, let’s work very hard together to make a positive change in our children’s lives. We have to step up our game. There are so many of our children who are going the wrong way, but we can reverse that by increasing the level of activity that we have in the lives of these children. Whether or not a man is a biological father, he can be a member of the fatherhood fraternity by mentoring a young man in need. By understanding that parenting is hard, we can also seek advice from others when we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. We don’t have to try to do everything on our own. We are a band of brothers. We are the brotherhood of parenthood!