The school of care: learning to be a caring person
What kind of person you are?
It’s a trick question, but one that will determine how you treat others, especially women you want to get to know better, date, and ultimately enjoy romantic moments with. At the beginning of our love life, the object is usually about your needs. You are interested in spending time with the most beautiful, sexy and exciting women you can find and maybe even make it to the bedroom if you can.
In that way, early courtship and seduction is all about the joy of sexual conquest, and there is a pleasure in that. But over time, you will start to want more than that. You will notice that the relationships you are in that work well for those self-centered goals are not very satisfying in other, more meaningful ways. They don’t usually last very long, and to be brutally honest, you’re hanging out with girls with the same values you used to hang out with, and those values aren’t very uplifting in the long run.
So what we really want is those same traits in a woman that we had when we were about to pick up, but somehow also more. We want our women to always be beautiful and sexy and touch us that way. But the ideal would be for her to also be a woman of values, sensitivity, thought and feeling so that you can continue seeing her and discovering the complex woman in her. . . while enjoying the emotions you had during the sexual conquest phase.
That is a difficult task. But it’s not impossible. You will need to change the types of women you approach and flirt with, your style of flirting, and your method and plans on first dates with women you meet who seem to fit your new specifications. But those women do exist, and you are on the right path to building relationships that will truly become ones you will treasure and nurture. . . relationships that will fit much more into the definition of “romance” rather than “one night stands” or affairs.
A change of focus
In addition to changing your flirting style, you should start changing the list of targets you use when flirting with women. The women who will be wonderful romances for you are more complex and have higher requirements for you to meet their emotional needs before you can approach them. Women approach dating very differently than men do. Some of the values that mean a lot to them are. . .
– They want to feel that you are interested in them. He talks more about them than about you.
– They want to feel that you are faithful and that you will be there for them in the future.
– They want to know that you are strong and manly, but sensitive and kind to them emotionally and sexually.
They want you to be a caring person. For a woman, the central organ of her romantic life is her heart, not her genitalia.
The latter is absolutely the magic lamp to win the affection and romance of a beautiful and sexy woman. So when you answered the question at the beginning, did you answer that you are a caring person?
It’s time to be honest, and for many of us, caring and caring for others, especially on an emotional level, is not our strength. But just like working a muscle to build strength and endurance, it’s something that can be improved over time. There are things you can do when you’re not with a woman that will make you a more caring person overall. While the tips listed in this article may not seem superficially related to dating or romance, they will alter the way you think and feel and make you a more caring, compassionate and “empathic” person. This, in turn, will be reflected during your time with her lover, and the result will be a stronger, healthier, more fulfilling and romantic relationship.
concern for animals
When child psychologists or parents want to improve a child’s ability to care for others, they often use a pet to help with that. You can also use that impulse of taking care of a pet to expand this part of your personality. If you don’t have a pet, now is the time to think about getting one.
Get a pet that you can “be in a relationship with,” like a dog or cat. A goldfish cannot communicate with you very well. If you have feelings for a certain type of animal, use it to move towards caring for the animal. It is always best to start with a young animal, a puppy or kitten, because they are very needy and receptive. At the same time, they are very affectionate and will bond with you, so you will begin to feel both the warmth that comes from caring for others, and the rewards.
Make time for your pet. Be patient when you make mistakes and think of them as members of your family. Sometimes you’ll forget that you’re doing this to help yourself be a better boyfriend, and that’s a good thing. That means you’re really becoming a caring person, not just manipulating yourself so you can make more progress with the ladies.
caring for humans
Now you can expand your feelings of concern and desire to help others to the disadvantaged in society. If you really want to push your emotional side toward caregiving, visit a children’s hospital and bring the kids some gifts. His heart will be touched by how lovable and yet needy they are and, just like with the pet, they will reward him with affection and gratitude, speeding him up to become an even more caring person.
You can build on the momentum you got from that visit and expand your concern for the homeless, foreign disaster victims, or orphans. If you want to get involved in one of the organizations that allows you to send a small amount of money to an orphan and exchange letters and pictures with them as well, that will make this side of you grow and become more sensitive.
you are not a coward
During this time, as you find new emotions beginning to well up within you, you may feel yourself becoming “softer” or less manly. In fact, the opposite is true. Your ability to feel and care for others is the height of masculinity. It will play a very important role in the future when you become a father and a husband.
Also, the ability to be tender, to nurture and pamper someone you care about, will come naturally in your tender moments with your lover. She will notice, and just as pets and children love you back, your partner will too. That love will be romantic, intimate, and exciting in a way that you could never achieve before when all you wanted to do was have short-term thrills with hot girls.