What are refrigerator moms?

There are many questions that come up repeatedly regarding what may be the cause of autism. Now that early diagnosis of autism is prevalent, there are myriad theories that have proven to confuse parents. Some believe that it is possible to blame the lack of parental attention.

Are refrigerator moms a cause of autism?

Coined by a well-meaning but misguided pioneer in identifying and treating autism, the term “refrigerator mom” refers to a mother who didn’t pay enough attention to her child during the formative years. While it is true that both mothers and fathers should pay close attention to their children, inattention is certainly not a cause of autism.

Autism is simply a neurological disorder. The brain is made up of billions of nerve cells that work together to form complex electrochemical circuits. In people with autism, some of those circuits are wired differently than in the brains of people without autism.

Autism also has a genetic component. It stands to reason that the so-called “refrigerator moms” may have been on the autism spectrum, which could have caused their difficulty bonding with their children. It was not his upbringing, but rather his genes that gave rise to autism.

Today, even suggesting that bad parenting causes autism or other neurological disorders is offensive to the autistic community, as well as to parents of children with autism. Parents of families affected by autism need support, not more shame over something they never caused.

For example, well-meaning relatives who are unaware of some of the complex behaviors of many people with autism may take a child’s reluctance to meet their eyes as a sign of avoidance, even defiance. If you come across one of these people in your family or circle of friends, take a deep breath. Then, as calmly as you can muster, tell them that eye-tracking studies can identify children with autism at an early age, even in infancy. Babies who will develop autism simply don’t look at human faces as much as others.

Education and training of those who encounter children and adults with autism is a key component in changing the way people think about the true causes of autism. If you or your child has autism, teach others how to help you or your child. Your therapist can also be a rich source of information to help you speak with confidence.