Your ex is now screening calls, not answering emails or texts: how to get your ex back?
Just when you think you’ve finally made contact and he or she is responding to your emails and phone calls, your ex suddenly starts screening your calls and then answering them later or sending texts instead of calling back. The next thing you know, he or she isn’t even responding to your emails or texts. But when you call him your ex, he seems very happy and the conversation is very friendly. But you never hear from him or her again. No texts, no emails, no phone calls, nothing.
You call and he or she never answers the phone, you leave messages and they never call you back. After several calls and messages left, you finally manage to communicate. And surprised! He or she is very happy to hear from you and the conversation becomes very friendly and even flirty again. But deep down you’re going completely crazy over your ex’s game!
The men and women who actively or passively play these kinds of games do so out of a (false) sense of power that thrives on exploiting people’s fear of being deprived of something they sorely need. By creating an artificial “scarcity”, the person controls the one who fears being deprived.
If your ex still has residual resentment and anger related to things that happened in the relationship or during and after the breakup, they may not want to feel helpless and helpless again. By playing these games, your ex is trying to see how much power/control he can have over you. The more high emotions followed by low emotions he or she can trigger in you, regardless of what emotions he or she triggers, the more power/control your ex will feel they have over you.
You have three ways to deal with your ex’s game:
1. You can tell your ex “I’m not going to waste my time with someone who doesn’t answer my emails/texts and doesn’t bother to call me once in a while. Bye.”
This stops the power play by cutting it off right at the source. The downside of this is that you risk losing your ex once again.
2. You can tell your ex “I really enjoy your emails/texts/talking with you/spending time with you but it sounds like you have more important things to do. Let me know when you have time for me.”
If the message is communicated convincingly, it will neutralize the power play strategy because what you are doing is removing the source of control from your ex. Giving up whatever your ex is trying to deprive you of: attention (time and effort). The message you are sending is “I like your attention, but I don’t NEED it that much.”
But sometimes even this may not work if you can’t move on from letting go of your fear of deprivation. At best, his attempts will be seen as bluffing, and at worst, as a counter power play.
3. You can tell your ex “Look, I really enjoy your emails/texts/talking with you/spending time with you but I also realize that you need your own space and alone time. But at least you can…
…email/text me every three days to let me know how you’re doing. It will give me peace of mind to know that you are okay.”
…let me call you once a week. It would be nice to catch up on the events of the week.
…spend every Saturday night with mr. It would be nice to get to know each other again and do fun things together, again.
This changes the interaction from a control mode to a cooperative mode. It is not a defensive or provocative maneuver because what you are offering is a win-win situation.
For this to work, you need a creative mind, a lot of patience, and the willingness to make positive influence one small step at a time. But of course, if your ex is so determined to play games with you and he doesn’t really care about you, or even he doesn’t want to get back with you, even this won’t work.
Simply put, don’t get carried away with power plays. I know, it’s easier said than done. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid the urge to turn the tables and play one player. The problem with this is that playing mind games only leads to more games and things usually end badly, plus it keeps you off balance and perpetually insecure.
By refusing to play “Gotcha, You SOB” or “Gotcha, You B***H” and instead choosing a new and different way to interact, you set a tone that changes the dynamic of how you relate to each other.
If you respond in a disciplined, consistent, and positively attractive way, your ex’s attitude toward you will slowly begin to change.
If you’re interested in learning how to deal with your ex’s sometimes angry, uncaring, or hostile behavior toward you, you might want to check out my eBook: Dating Your Ex: What You Can Do Tonight, Tomorrow, And The Next Day To Get Your Ex Back back