6 key steps to infidelity, facts on why infidelity is not an accidental slip

I hope you know (without a shadow of a doubt) that infidelity does not happen by chance. It’s true that many cheating partners caught in the act use the “it just happened” excuse as a way to minimize their involvement in the whole sordid deal. And because so many of them use this lame excuse, many of us are beginning to think it’s true. Well, I want to dispel that myth by going over the key steps of infidelity.

1. The first step towards infidelity is the most subtle. This is when you do seemingly innocent things that you know are out of character. You may be in a place where you shouldn’t go to a certain type of club that you know you should avoid, or you may extend eye contact with someone across the room even though you’re already in a relationship with someone else. At this stage you initiate contact with the potential romantic relationship or put yourself in a position where you may be compromised.

2. The next step is to become aware of the new romantic relationship. They may have been in your life before, but now you suddenly ‘see’ how great they really are. You notice how they laugh in a cheerful and contagious way, how they walk in that fascinating way, etc. In this step, the chemistry kicks in and you are captivated. You are committed to them and they occupy your thoughts with dreams of all that could be.

3. The third step toward infidelity is taking steps to get closer to your new romantic relationship. You start to investigate about your new love, who they are, what they do, etc. and you start flirting with them. Find out everything you can about them.

4. The next step is to create a situation that allows you to “accidentally run into” your new love interest. You can involve your friends or other people to help you achieve this or you can just study them well enough to know how to achieve this. At this stage you begin to communicate with them and get to know them.

5. The fifth step to infidelity actually involves being unfaithful to your spouse or partner. Once you’re really unfaithful, you can feel overwhelmed with guilt.

6. The last step towards infidelity is for you to rationalize what you have done. You tell yourself that you couldn’t help it… that your new flame doesn’t discount your relationship with your spouse or partner, etc. In this step, you tell yourself different things so that you feel good about what you did or are doing. If you are able to successfully rationalize what you are doing (and mitigate your guilt), then you tend to continue to cheat until your partner or spouse finds out or feelings for your new love die down.

As you can see, infidelity is a 6-step process and each stage requires you to expend energy and time to achieve. Therefore, you have the opportunity to stop at any of the first four stages. Once you get past stage 5, you should at least respect your partner enough that you don’t make it to stage 6, and instead let them know that your heart has refocused elsewhere.