How to instill good values in your child
Have you ever wondered how to instill good values in your child? Experience shows that most parents and teachers choose one of three different systems to achieve that goal. One of those systems produces children who lack good values. The second routinely instills good values. The third system works and works well when parents constantly follow it. The secret? Your child will love the flags.
Let’s look at these systems together.
(1) MUZZY SYSTEM: This method of instilling values sees the body of moral values as a large gray area filled with quirks, that is, actions or ideas that are erratic and unpredictable. This system tries to instill good values in your child through actions or ideas that jump from here to there. You can never really pin it down. In reality, you can never say, “This moral value requires this kind of behavior, and these are the positive and negative consequences of that behavior.”
I saw the muzzy system in action a month ago in our community. Being on friendly terms with the executive vice president of the community management team, we had a friendly conversation about the lax application of the written regulations that govern the community. At the end of the discussion, the executive vice president stated, “There is always this huge gray area.”
Seriously? Our discussion focused on legally binding community regulations, yet she found it difficult to predict what action, if any, she and her team might take with a non-compliant resident. Once residents discovered this leeway, violations increased. If we imagine management’s attempts to enforce the lease as a giant television screen, we see a confusing reception “snowstorm”. Your lease enforcement remains erratic, unpredictable, and never focused.
Do you know how to instill good values in your child with the muzzy system? Drop the system. You can’t instill good values in your child with a loose gray carpet of ambiguous ideas.
(2) MONOCHROMATIC SYSTEM: A parent or teacher who uses this system to instill good values in children sees moral values in a monochrome scheme of sharp black and white. Unlike the confusing system, this choice presents clear concepts of right and wrong. These concepts never change. Honesty never jumps from full adherence to the truth once to permissible little white lies another time. Parents do not present moral values as erratic and unpredictable behaviors that require one action today and another tomorrow.
Try applying this system to the old management team. What would that “huge gray area” have to change? The team would have to make it clear to all residents that they see the regulations in black and white, not gray. They would have to insist on compliance, stating the unalterable consequences of non-compliance. Finally, they would have to act to make it happen.
For many centuries, parents who wanted to instill good values in their children used the monochrome system with great success. Parents taught to clearly distinguish between black and white when it came to moral values. They helped the children structure their lives around moral values written, literally, in stone: The ten Commandments.
This method of instilling good values in children still works for parents who work diligently to adapt their own lives to robust character traits. If you qualify as a strong-willed parent, use the monochrome system to instill good values in your child. Teach them clear, well-defined honesty rather than vague and unpredictable honesty. Teach them a self-control that never operates on a whim, one that keeps them on the right moral path, regardless.
Learn to instill good values in your child with the monochrome system, and you will never be left without knowing which action to choose.
(3) VIBRANCE SYSTEM: Decades before we hit 2019 (as I am writing this article), our society became a vibrant society with vivid colors! Since the creation of Earth, humans had lived with color. The sky, water, land, plants, animals, and human bodies pulsed with a rainbow of colors. Then emerging technologies made vibrant colors available in everything from television and movies to the clothes we wear. We quickly ran from blurry to monochrome to vibrancy, but we rarely use it to instill good values. Why?
Think about how you and the adults you know view values. You may see a block of gray. I speak as a professional educator when I say that children do not learn better from gray hair. Give them a piece of paper with the image of a huge gray square and ask them to describe the good values they see. They can not. They see nothing but a gray box. Schools don’t use gray to teach math, science, etc.
You may see black and white. Children can and do learn from monochrome black and white. Write the list of 66 blank character traits on a board, ask the children to describe the good values that they see and can fulfill. Schools use black and white to teach math, science, etc. – but not exclusively. They use colors, and I want to draw your attention to that.
HOW TO INSTRUCT GOOD VALUES IN YOUR CHILD USING FLAGS
Good values exist in beautiful, rich colors, like the vibrant colors of the flags of most nations. Did you know that the colors used in flags most often symbolize good specific values? What more memorable way could you use to instill good values in your child?
Acquire a flag or a photo of the flag and see the world through your child’s eyes.
Start with the flag of your own nation. It is likely to have red, white, and blue. Twenty-nine (29) nations use these three colors on their flags. Those nations often associate a common symbolism with red, white, and blue, and a flag can be your first tool in teaching these values to your child.
- Red, symbolic of a nation’s struggle, means courage.
- White represents purity, peace, Y Unit.
- Blue means courage, Justice, loyalty, Y perseverance.
You can instill those eight good values in your child by using a real flag or a picture of a flag. Teach the colors one at a time. Teach the specific values of a color one at a time. In other words, you will want to go from 8 to 11 teaching sessions on the values symbolized by red, white, and blue. You want the child to know how each value behaves, how to act. Give them examples and set up opportunities within the home to practice regularly.
Connect other flag colors to specific moral values to help your child see with “vitality” and long remember the character traits you value.
Use light red or pink hearts to instill love as described in pictures and words in: https://bettilousblog.com/warning-real-love-works/. Explain that love is not just warm feelings. True love requires action. Real love works. Help your child understand and participate in specific loving actions on a regular basis.
CONCLUSION
We could give you more clues on how to instill good values in your child, but this article would exceed the limits of space. Do your own research, or create your own color symbolism, by letting your child draw and color illustrative flags. Post them in your child’s room as “to go” reminders. Use them for review, but most important of all: practice these values consistently as a role model for your child.