“I don’t want to miss the best years of my life”
A carte blanche from Violette de Launoit, rhetorician.
Corona. Covid. Covid-19. The Covid. The Covid. This word has been invading us for over a year now. However, we still do not know how to use it.
Where to start ? As a 17 year old teenager, I have so much to say. But what can I say to make the world listen to me? What can we say to make politicians react? What can we say to make things change?
Let’s start from the beginning.
The world stops but we have the illusion that it will not last. The word “containment” is just a funny word that is not yet familiar to us. People go crazy and stock up on food, but that’s normal, they’re scared. Things eventually calm down and containment is put in place.
Weeks go by and the confinement continues. We eat, we work a lot, we sleep, we play and we learn to rediscover our family. Containment isn’t that bad after all. We are there, we take advantage of these little moments.
And then things get sour. Time is running out. People become paranoid. Human relations are more and more strange in stores.
And suddenly, everything changes. We no longer see the end. Parents no longer know what to say to reassure us because they are not sure whether they are themselves. At home, it screams, it cries, it gets angry, it breaks down. We no longer control anything and we want to live again. We want to see our friends, we want to go to a restaurant, we want to laugh, we want to learn, we want to discover.
This is the first time in 17 years that I have felt this feeling, a feeling of helplessness in the face of the world around me. The worst part of all of this is the guilt that gnaws at me. I feel guilty for crying when I am privileged. I have a home, a family, food, a garden, friends with whom I can chat, in short, I have everything to be happy. But I cry. I’m crying because I’m missing something. I worry because I no longer have a balance in my life. I am sad because I miss my routine of life. I’m afraid I won’t see the end of it. I don’t want to miss the best years of my life. We’re wasting our time and that, I can’t control it (and yes, I’m a real scorpion, I always want to control everything) and it stresses me out. I want to travel, to laugh, to meet, to discover, to fall in love, to grow, to laugh, to cry, to sing, to dance, to cry, to fall, to get up, to learn, to get upset, to feel free, in short, to be 17 years old. I feel stuck. Even though I spend a nice weekend on Sunday evening, reality keeps catching up with me at a gallop: we no longer live.
Little by little, I lose this adolescent flame of hope that made me vibrate. The one that allows me to live each day so intensely. My solution to this problem: I live every day with twice the passion, joy, laughter, tears, love and emotions. I make up for lost time by seeking the adrenaline and euphoria of the important days. I love life and that I do not forget. I would just like to get back what is mine: my carefree years. We’re all in the same situation so I hope things will change faster if we scream together.
Let’s cry out that we can’t take it anymore. Let’s cry for help. Let us shout: “Give us back our rheto”.