Is everyone yelling “Off with his head!” – Are you a wedding day princess or an evil queen?
Is everyone around you yelling “Off with his head”? Most brides want to be a princess on their wedding day, a vision of grace and beauty. Unfortunately, some brides seem more like the evil queen or evil stepmother. If you’re under the impression that your wedding is all about you, I have a question, what about the groom? In fact, a girlfriend told me that the groom was just an accessory; he was there to make her look good. For all the brides who feel like this, think about this, without the groom you would not be a bride.
It’s easy to fall into the mindset of “I’m the princess and I Will get what I want.” Being able to handle the stress of planning a wedding and the ability to be flexible shows a woman’s true character. If a woman can’t handle planning such a wonderful and happy time, what will she do? What to do?When the going gets tough?Being a bride is never an excuse to be rude and vulgar.Ultimately, your personality, frame of mind, and behavior are what will make your wedding day memorable, unless Of course, the decorations are everything you want your guests to remember.
Asking a friend or family member to be at the wedding is a sign of respect and friendship. It does not mean that they have to be at your disposal. Attendees are not mind readers or scapegoats for your poor decisions, procrastination, or lack of money. Let me add just for the record, I don’t know of a single wedding professional who would tolerate a vulgar, abusive or physical bride with product or staff. Try that behavior and you will most likely lose your deposit and your supplier. Brides who have the money to make lavish demands usually work with a professional wedding planner and the key word here is professional. So for any bride considering Bridezilla as a role model, forget it.
The show where girlfriends act like bratty bratty kids to entertain, I said entertainment, it can be funny but in real life it is the surest way to ruin what will be the best time of your life not only for those around you. but for the groom and ultimately for yourself.
I remember a bride who declared herself a sexy princess but acted as if she had stopped taking her medication. She put her fist in her preview cake, broke the table setting, hit a woman and was obsessed with her guests knowing how much money she and her boyfriend had spent even though everything was plastic. I might as well have put up a sign that said: Look at me, look at me, I’m rude and vulgar and I’ve maxed out my credit card!
The most alarming thing about this girlfriend’s behavior was that she had young children, what an example she set for them. I found myself wishing the boyfriend would cut her losses and run in the opposite direction. This bride was such a pathetic sight that in the end, she was just the drunk in a white dress and she spent most of her reception on a throne of a completely different kind. Talk about karma.
In stark contrast, I officiated at an outdoor wedding where unexpected August rain could have ruined the day had it not been for the bride. Although the reception was set up in a pavilion, the ceremony was held in the main garden. There was no time or way to cover the ceremony area and the bride was determined that nothing would ruin her wedding day, not even rain. She asked her friends to go to all the discount stores and buy all the dollar umbrellas they had in stock. As guests arrived in dresses and suits, they were offered an umbrella, asked to remove their shoes and socks, and roll up their pants. All without exception complied happily. The bride was out of place but in control. She said that she was just Mother Nature. Frankly, I would have been a basket case, not this girlfriend. She laughed when she told me that her entrance music had been changed and she added “you’ll just love her”. Her guests clapped and cheered as the music started and she walked barefoot down the aisle to Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head.
Of the many photographs taken that afternoon, one stands out in my mind. The bride and groom asked all their guests, staff, family and attendees to gather for a photograph of their feet in a natural way. Later I saw that barefoot photograph used in various advertisements.
The barefoot wedding was not the most expensive nor the most luxurious I have ever witnessed nor the most beautifully decorated but I can tell you that it is the only wedding of almost three thousand that I remember in such detail and that it makes me smile every time I remember that rainy day of August.
The wedding could have taken on a very different mood had it not been for the bride and groom. The grace, style and happiness of the bride came through and made everyone feel good and content with the sudden change in weather. Remember that the bride sets the mood. Wanting to be a princess is fine, but you have to ask yourself, am I the only one who treats me like a princess? If the answer is yes, then the next question should be why.
If you want the day to be all about you, I suggest you elope and involve as few people as possible. However, if you want family and friends to be included in your day, be prepared to think beyond yourself. You will find that people are more willing to offer their help and support when you act like a true princess.