Love triangle: when you are the other person in the love triangle
A love triangle is without a doubt the most disturbing of all relationship dynamics. In this article I will approach the subject from the point of view of the third wheel or “the other person”. The third wheel in a love triangle is the person who is not in the primary relationship, but is involved with someone who is in a committed relationship with someone else.
As the third wheel in this love triangle, you are fully aware that the other person is involved with another person, but you also chose to be involved with them. Although I don’t condone the practice of being with someone who is in a committed relationship, I do understand that attraction, feelings, and emotions can be extremely powerful.
Most people who end up in this situation never intended to one day wake up and find themselves in the middle of a love triangle. For most the process is gradual. It can usually start with innocent flirting, which eventually leads to crossing the line. Once that line has been crossed, it becomes easier and easier to cross it again. Over time it is natural for intense feelings of attachment and/or love to develop.
Once things reach a level of emotional attachment and/or love, the love triangle becomes an intense and emotionally charged pattern that is difficult to break. It is not uncommon for this situation to be prolonged by deceit or mixed messages from the main party you are involved with. This is a dangerous place to be and one where you need to strongly evaluate the choices you are making and where this path is headed.
Things to consider if you are the third wheel in a love triangle:
1. Consider the other person’s feelings: Empathy or seeing the world through another person’s eyes is one of the most compassionate emotions humans can experience. If you find yourself in a love triangle, you must give special consideration to the other person. It is not uncommon for the person you are involved with to share bad experiences and/or wrongdoing by the unsuspecting party.
You have to be careful with a one-sided story, but rather put yourself in their situation and think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed.
2. Look to the future: If you are involved in a love triangle, chances are you are there by accident and the intention may be that the two of you will be together one day. But consider this. If the person you are currently seeing is cheating on their partner, what are the chances that they will one day cheat on you? You may think that this is impossible or that it would never happen, because right now you are special to them and you are their escape from their other world.
But what happens when the newness of you wears off and the reality of you being together sets in? Do you think it’s possible they could start looking elsewhere again? You know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater and the odds of them doing the same to you are pretty good.
3. Show Some Self Respect: If you find yourself involved in a love triangle, whether intentional or not, you must instantly acknowledge that you deserve better. I understand that this person has your attention and that you are attracted to them, but you deserve much more than a borrowed lover. You deserve a lover who is loyal, committed, trustworthy, and strong-willed. Don’t underestimate yourself, you are an amazing and unique person and you deserve better. Therefore, it would be wise to get rid of the cheater and find someone who is completely at the service of her love and attention.
It is important to understand that I am not dismissing the feelings and emotions that you share for this person. The emotions of a love triangle are by far some of the most powerful emotions of love and lust. But at the end of the day you have complete control over your actions and behavior. You can continue to make decisions that are likely to lead you to an unfortunate fate or you can walk away from this love triangle and start a new life with someone who will serve you more of their love and affection.