Memories of my mother’s day
In the United States, Anna Jarvis was credited with conceiving and promoting this special day for mothers. The day was recognized as a holiday in 1914. Supposedly, Anna was heartbroken by how the day became a marketing sensation over time and that more and more people chose to buy and send a card, gift or flowers to her mother for feel good about what they did. The idea was to make the mother feel more loved and special that day than she had felt for her children. Over time, the commercialization of the holiday made Anna embittered for what she had created, and she tried unsuccessfully to remove it as a holiday.
But, just as no two mothers are the same, the convenience of giving gifts has not prevented us from celebrating our mothers more on this very special Sunday in May. I have memories of my mother linked to this day, from my childhood to today. My mother was my protector and friend. Even before I have a memory of it, I can see it on my face and her face in her pictures. She involved me in her life, put me first most of the time, sang to me, encouraged me, and taught me to find joy in this world. I think she knew that, and most mothers know how important it is to teach love and joy early, before the world teaches competition, defensiveness, and goals like getting something for yourself. Mother is about giving everything for another person: you.
My mother gave birth to two more children, each spaced three years after me. When she brought her new baby home, I saw the sparkle in her face and the love in her eyes that was once all mine. I learned later, what I couldn’t understand then, that she never stopped loving me with all her heart. Love doesn’t fit perfectly in a measuring cup. There are no limits to love unless we put limits on it. I wish I had understood at three and six years old. Seeing her love for my little brothers was for me too, and seeing it, I could see the effect she had on my brothers and glimpse how big her heart was for her son. My mom will be 84 next month and her loving heart is still big.
As I got older, I saw concern and even fear in her eyes when I left her to go to school, play soccer, and when I got so sick that all she could do for me wasn’t enough. I saw boundless joy in her when I got married, and especially when my wife placed my young son and then my young daughter in her arms. But, something changed then.
Just as she had to divide her attention as a mother when my siblings were born, I had to put the mother of my children first. Later, I watched my mother’s eyes darken as her mother began the last years of her life. She wanted to do a lot for her mother, but life is like a stick passed from one runner to another. Once the baton has been passed, we do not see so clearly the one who passed it because with the baton the purpose also passed. Her mother is still remembered by her on Mother’s Day, and I think every day.
As I write this article, early on Mother’s Day 2019, I am getting ready to call my mom on the phone. She lives two states south of me and my wife, where she cares for one of my brothers whose life became a disease for him and a great pain for her. My children will honor her mother today, and I will be a part of it. I wish I could hold the cane longer for my mother, but it’s over now. Anna Jarvis did a good thing for mothers, and for our mothers, we must do what we can, all we can, to tell our mothers that we love them and always will. #TAG1writer.