Search For Love – A seductive and insatiable love story

Sometimes recurring dreams seen in childhood cement themselves in memory never to go away. I can’t forget the outstanding Sea Beach House and its eye-catching staircase leading to the second floor from the outside. A tremendous memory of an overwhelming romance touches my soul and sends me into intense family delight. Slowly, as I delve into the depths of memory, a silhouetted male figure unravels. Gently as the colors of dark gray and black lighten, I get a vivid splash from eyes moist with despair and emptiness. I choke on tears and wake up to an unknown repressed emotion, a heartache that no one can understand.

A feeling of helplessness surrounds me when I remember it in the midst of chaos, sadness and anguish. I could sense that he was completely alone, he was getting cold and there was no one to hold. Although the feeling is intimate and existent, I remember being just a spectator looking at it. My mind suddenly races, am I currently a different person who is glimpsing some past event? Although I don’t believe in past life experiences, I can’t deny the passionate love that I can’t seem to forget. Is it the subconscious’s attempt to bring up memories to communicate something that had been left unresolved? Is it the cry of a soul that my soul identifies?

I regret, why did you stay to see the darkness and the rain, the anguish and the pain; nothing but memories to restore? It hurts to say it, more difficult to reflect on how he reminds me of a glorious past while I am a sad story for him. I am crumbling to see his soul in the black abyss awaiting the blissful kiss of death. Was I reckless or lacked control in life? A voice from within me asks him: ‘Why did you trust in life? Life is a false dream while death is reality. You trusted me and I tore you apart like tearing apart a precious piece of paper. Although time passes and instances in memory also fade, it is undeniable that the freshness of your intense love retains its essence.

I know that reminiscences don’t let you go either; you still burn and want to hug me once. As the darkness defeated the light, I could no longer be yours. My breath hitched, my eyes closed, it wasn’t under my control. Yes, her insatiable love still seeks me out and touches my subconscious level.